Here’s the thing: business friendships

We’ve come a long way since 2010, when I used to see conversations from small business owners on Twitter and wish I could provide something more.

And then there was the creation of the Notonthehighstreet partner forum (yes, I got that up and running when I worked in the Notonthehighstreet partner team) – a place for that particular community to share tips, advice, and woes. Even that appears to have dwindled now, less a community and more of a tumbleweed.

There are so many more communities and business friendships available. We meet kindred spirits on Instagram, or in a Facebook group. Perhaps you’re lucky enough to be close to a strong local community. (How I long to be in Exeter and go to a Creative Business Network coffee meet up!)

My own business friendships have developed. I have clients who’ve become friends, and my own coaches have, too. My bestie, Kelly, started her own business, and so business became another way in which we support each other.

But I have to say that in this arena of business friendships – and relationships in general – I feel a little bruised. I was thinking about writing this post, and I realised that I still carry friendship-sadness for connections that have faded, and I wondered just how many of us feel that way.

It’s true of the old school friends who I haven’t kept in touch with, or the kindred spirit who went travelling and with whom I lost touch.

These are people I didn’t fall out with – nothing bad happened – but that slipped through my hands.

And those feelings are affecting my business friendships even now.

I’m still afraid to make new friendships in business, in case they fade away or don’t work out, and I’ve found myself questioning whether some relationships are meant to be business friendships, or a different dynamic.

Did I employ that person because I wanted to be friends with them?

Did I become friends with someone because I wanted to do business with them?

What about the friendships that could have been, but our business values were different?

When you have a business friendship, I think you know it. At least, when I reflect on what works for me, I know it. There are some friends with whom I can talk about business and feel respected, seen, heard, and supported. And I can listen to friends in business, and make sure they want my coaching perspective before I offer it.

Because there’s a difference between being someone’s business coach and being their friend.

There’s also a difference between being a friend in business, and a business friendship.

What do we mean by a business friendship?

A business friendship is a relationship in which you’re able to share honestly about your business successes and challenges without judgement and in order to receive encouragement and support. You might meet up for co-working coffee dates, or brainstorm your marketing plan together. Perhaps you meet at or attend events together. (Like a business retreat, for example.)

You’re able to bounce ideas around, go on inspiration-gathering trips together, or send a panic text when something’s going wrong. In a business friendship, you know that the other person has your back, but isn’t responsible for your business success.

It might be a one-on-one friendship, or it might be a small community. You might have a Facebook group or an Instagram chat.

Things that aren’t a business friendship:

  • A friend who has a business but doesn’t support yours (Beware the Naysayers)
  • A business coach or mentor who offers guidance, advice, or services (though a friendship might blossom outside of your coaching or mentoring relationship)
  • Anyone who offers you unsolicited advice, or is constantly negative about your business or decisions – even if they say they’re “playing devil’s advocate” or offering “tough love”
  • One-sided support, where you give all the support all the time. This is different from the cyclical nature of mutual support, where one person needs a little more for a time.

If you have even one person you’d call a business friend, count yourself incredibly lucky! Any more, and you’re walking on sunshine, my friend.

Of course, sometimes we need more than friendship – we need a coach or mentor to provide business expertise. A business coach will work with you to create a business plan and will help you to identify what you really want – and how to get it. It’s in-depth work. Yes, you’ll be seen and heard (with the right coach), and you’ll get a whole load of love. But you’ll also have someone who is trained, experienced, and works in this way professionally. It’s a total business – and life – support.

Chances are, if you decide to work with a coach, your business friend will benefit from the work you’re doing too, as you share stories and create a different path for your business. It’s a win-win-win.

Here are some things I’d love to know, so please get in touch!

  1. Do you have a business bestie? If not, are you looking for one?
  2. If you’re in or near Cambridge, would you be interested in a regular creative business meet up?
  3. What do you think the difference between business friendship and business coaching is?

Until soon,

Jenny x

What if you felt aspirational on the inside?

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about two things:

  1. How social media affects us as business owners – who we follow, who we compare ourselves to, what we think we “should” be doing
  2. Taking time out to connect with your inner wisdom on a deeper level – and how working in this way allows us to create more authentic, meaningful businesses

It hit me this morning that these two things are incredibly intertwined.

I created Self Care on Social Media for Business Owners to help people like you and me make sure they’re not too distracted by other people on the internet, and instead to cultivate their own authentic voice.

And I’m running a video series on why and how to take time out of the busy-work in order to cultivate better business alignment. Because I know that that’s the only way to get really clear on what you want.

Ultimately, that thing you see on the internet, on Instagram, on the grapevine – you know, the one you imagine means “true success”? What if that thing wasn’t an aspirational post or a Pinterest board or a beautifully styled image? What if, instead, it was a feeling and a source of power and inspiration within you?

Does that sound like nonsense? Stay with me.

For generations, and especially in the last 100 years, we’ve cultivated our homes, our lives, our clothes, and our spaces to be an outer expression of who we are. We want our spaces to represent a part of us: Comfy sofas demonstrate our passion for relaxation and welcoming guests. Sassy t-shirt slogans let people know we’re sarcastic. A yellow front door tells the world we value joy and fun.

That’s the idea, right?

And if you’re a business owner or creative entrepreneur or a maker, your work is also an expression of who you are – at least in part. (Because we’re really very complex human beings, so that one print you designed probably won’t pack all of it in.)

But what if we reverse engineer it?

Those Instagram posts you like are telling you something about yourself, or a feeling you want to cultivate in your own life and business.

What if, rather than wishing we had the styled, superficial photo, we dug deeper into what it means to us?

Maybe that flatlay of pretty autumnal things is telling you you want to be more creative, just for the hell of it (and not for your business).

Perhaps that new product by that brand you admire is showing you that you want to be really confident in the new things that you launch.

What if that crazy helpful blog series is showing you that you too want to be helpful?

Rather than trying to replicate the content or the look or the aesthetic, what if we sink deeper into the feeling we have within us? From where I’m sitting, going inward and exploring it internally will help us get to a unique and authentic expression of something that’s never been seen before.

So I think I’m coming to understand that there’s wisdom in combining these two things: taking good care of yourself on social media by noticing where you slip into envy and comparison AND going deeper to explore what these external indicators really mean for you.

That aspirational feeling is inside you. It isn’t in the yellow door or the perfectly styled flatlay. It’s within you. And it deserves exploration and expression.

What do you think? Am I rambling, or is there something here?

Jenny x

You may not want to hear this…

As someone who believes in integrity and tries to practice it daily, I often bump up against a conundrum: how to tell people the truth as I see it without putting them off working with me.

That sounds kind of awesome, doesn’t it?

What I mean is that a lot of my beliefs and experience of business aren’t sexy or even conventional wisdom. I don’t believe in hustle. I don’t believe in 10 quick steps to very much. And yet these are the things that a lot of people want and find attractive, or at least worth reading and trying.

It seems to me that the most valuable lesson, AND the one we resist learning, is that authentic business success – the type we feel in our bones – requires time, strength, courage and integrity.

So here’s what you’re not going to want to hear:

To get more done and get closer to where you want to be, you’re going to have to slow down and get more intentional.

It seems counter-intuitive, especially at this time of year. But when we take an afternoon, an hour or even 10 minutes to reconnect with our values and our intentions, it actually helps us stay more focused, get less distracted, and become more productive.

But if you try to skip this step of reflection, realignment and wise planning? You stay on the hamster wheel, working hard but not really getting anywhere.

It’s not all bad news.

Taking a little time out to get wiser and more intentional can:

  • help you identify deeper wisdom
  • lead to better business decisions
  • reduce stress, anxiety and fear
  • allow you to create content and offerings that really resonate
  • cultivate better connection with customers
  • improve your sense of success and wellbeing
  • let the whispers of what you really want get louder

Sounds pretty awesome, right?

So let’s do more of it. I’m hosting a live video chat on Friday at 2pm to talk about why we need more time out of orders, emails, and fire-fighting so that we can get further ahead.

Join me for this free session.

I promise: no quick fixes, no false lists, and lots of authentic encouragement.

Yours un-sexily,
Jenny x

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Enter The Forge

Life's too damn short to chase someone else's definition of success. I'm here to give you the courage and tools to forge your own path.