Blog - Page 54 of 75

Here's the thing: in favour of the truth

Recently, I popped a new logo up on my website. I really love it! And it got me thinking about the three words I’ve chosen to appear below my name: mentor, writer, and advocate.

I have so much to say about each one, but the one I’ve been pondering on in relation to this post is advocate.

I advocate for small businesses. I believe in them. I believe small is beautiful, and that small business has a unique opportunity to make a difference in the world. Don’t believe me? Note the unrest at Etsy about the pending Handmade at Amazon. Big corporates are now fighting over small business. Because they know they can’t replicate it.

So advocating for small businesses is cool, but I realised recently that I advocate for something more specific than that. I’m really an advocate for the emotional, mental and physical health of small businesses. I want to bust open myths of needing to be super productive, super organised, good at everything and otherwise perfect.

I want to encourage and allow you to be all that you are – and know that that is enough.

I want to be a beacon of light, letting you know that you’re not alone.

As a mentor, working one-on-one with talented entrepreneurs and designers and makers and plenty of people who don’t know how to describe themselves, I hear the truth. I don’t always hear all of the truth, because we all struggle with it. But I hear more of the truth then others do.

I hear the stories of struggle. I hear the cash flow challenges, the staff issues, the crises of confidence. I hear about the family health issues and personality clashes that take over working days. I hear the stories of day jobs that are soul-sucking.

I’ve heard so many of these stories that I can tell you everyone has them. No one is walking a smooth road, at least not in every aspect of their lives. That’s not what we’re here to do! We’re here to struggle and learn and get better.

And what I’m interested in at the moment is talking about the struggles.

We don’t openly talk about every struggle we go through, certainly not publicly, and that’s right. But while we’re worrying about coming across as negative, we’re bottling up a whole load of feelings and experiences that are affecting us. The longer we bottle them up, the more likely they are to come out in a big long stream of negativity.

I don’t want to encourage wallowing in negativity – far from it. I know there are plenty of negativity-breeding forums and places on the internet that aren’t productive.

But here’s the thing:

Acknowledging your feelings is productive.

Acknowledging that you’re struggling or worrying or feeling alone is vital. And it usually includes telling someone in order to fully acknowledge it.

It doesn’t have to be your business Facebook page. It doesn’t have to be a lot of people. I recommend that it’s not anyone you don’t trust.

Share your feelings with a person or small group who will:

see your struggles for what they are
acknowledge your feelings and sit with you in them
avoid trying to “fix” the problem immediately
keep it confidential
maintain trust with you, now and in the future

I know people, personally and professionally, who have a lot of struggle, but who shy away from sharing it because they don’t want to come across as negative or needy or failures.

And the thing is, they’re robbing themselves of getting the help and support they need. They’re shying away from admitting there’s a problem that needs attention. They’re keeping themselves small.

Women too often get labelled as “dramatic” or “needy” or “whiny” – which isn’t the case at all! And god forbid a man shows feelings that might be construed as weak or not having it all together.

Having feelings is not dramatic or weak. Bottling them up for too long so they come out as a huge long stream of unsolvable problems is unproductive and, in my opinion, unprofessional. When we dismiss feelings, shrug them off, try to pretend there isn’t a problem, we’re letting them take over. Which isn’t a great way to run a business or live a life.

Rather than trying to squash them, share them with people you trust. Rather than try to fix it with wine or chocolate or a bath, write down how you’re feeling. Get curious about what you’re feeling. Get down to the crux of it. Don’t censor yourself while you’re letting it out. Just let it be.

This is the step so many of us skip, for fear of being crazy or dramatic or weak. This is the step that allows us to actually process feelings, so that we can move past them. This is the part that makes us feel alone.

Please allow your feelings.

Please share them.

You know where I am if you don’t have another trusting place to share them.

PS My Small Creative Business Retreat 2016 is now open for booking! Now there’s a place you can be yourself…

Guest post: Gabrielle Treanor tells us what it’s like to retreat with me

Gabrielle Treanor is the overthinkers’ coach, and you can find out more about her amazing work at GabrielleTreanor.com. She’s an ambassador for happiness, a stationery lover, and a lovely client. In this post, she describes her experience of my Small Creative Business Retreat in 2015.

There are a number of words that spring to mind when I think back to the Creative Business Retreat in March: space, connection, realisation, learning, reflection, laughter, relaxation, inspiration, comfort, insight.

The Retreat gave me something I didn’t know I needed – time to think, to step back from the business of daily life and look at my work and my life from a slight distance. When you’re in the thick of things, beavering away at your business and getting on with everyday life, it feels normal and right. To take a break from it, to step away from work (yikes, what will happen to the business if I’m not there!) feels risky, indulgent, unnecessary even.

Taking myself off to the Peak District for three nights felt really self-indulgent and I felt quite guilty about ‘abandoning’ my business and deserting my husband and dog. Spending a long weekend with a group of women talking about our businesses but also spending time relaxing (Jenny was quite clear on that point) seemed like a luxury that was hard to justify to myself.

But, as it turns out, that long weekend was exactly what I needed, for me and for my business.

The workshops Jenny held were a chance to really step back and look at your business as a whole. Thinking about your purpose, what do you want to communicate to your customers, brand, marketing, photography – all so important to your business but not something that we necessarily give enough time, space and thought to. When we’re working to deadlines, getting out orders, designing new products, managing staff, paying tax bills and the other 87 jobs we juggle, it’s hard to make time for the stuff that we know is important but isn’t so easy to tick off a list.

I knew a couple of the other women at the retreat, I’d spoken with a few on social media but there were several women that I’d had no contact with before that weekend. All of them, without exception, were friendly, interesting, running their businesses in their own way, doing amazing things and, not realising just how brilliant they are.

Through the workshops and in informal chats we learned about each other’s businesses. Everyone ran their business in different ways, some on their own in the house, others with staff in premises but we all had similar worries and fears, and we all learned from each other. Running your own business can be a lonely affair so having time to chat with other creative business owners, in a relaxed environment, felt so good. The knowledge that your worries aren’t unique, and picking up ideas and ways to deal with issues was invaluable.

As time went on and we got to know each other a little better, we opened up more to each other and shared our dreams for our futures. Just as everyone is different everyone’s hopes for their businesses and their lives were different, and so inspiring. Sharing and learning in this way is only really possible, I think, in this sort of retreat setting, where you’re spending several days, not just hours, together.

One of the biggest treats (and benefits) of the retreat was not having to do anything! Jenny had thought of everything and her lovely team meant that we didn’t wash up so much as one mug the entire weekend. I think I may have managed to make myself one cup of tea but that was unusual as there was a constant supply of tea, coffee, cold drinks, and snacks. Plus there was a choice of what to have for breakfast, as well as filling lunches and dinners. There was no chance you could go hungry on the retreat!

While it felt a little wrong to do so little to help around mealtimes and clearing up, the effect it had was quite remarkable. With no need to spend thought, time or energy deciding on what to eat, making it, washing up afterwards, we were free to spend more time chatting, laughing, relaxing and reflecting on our businesses. That brain space was so important in how beneficial the weekend was.

Out of all the words I listed at the top of this post I think space is probably the one that sticks out for me. At the retreat I had space to relax, to make friends, to learn, to reflect on my life and my business, to feel inspired and motivated, to savour my life as it is and how I want it to be.

The support and encouragement we all gave to each other felt so good, and continues now. Goals I was just dreaming about in the Spring of this year have been achieved, in part, due to my time at the Retreat.

My life and business is undoubtedly better for having experienced Jenny’s Creative Business Retreat. I’m already excited about what will come of the Retreat in 2016.

***

Find out more about retreats here.

Here's the thing: making lives better

I work with a lot of people who make and sell products intended to make people’s lives better. Not in a ‘this piece of technology will change your life’ way, but in a ‘this will bring you happiness, connection and joy’ way.

I’m proud to work with people who make these kinds of products. Making lives better is a core value and intention of mine, so I feel good about it.

I’m proud to work with designers and makers who think about what people are going to enjoy and get out of, say, a new print or candlestick or photo album.

I’m proud to work with people who are innovative in creating heart-led products, like Gabrielle’s Date Jars, which are designed to encourage more quality time with your partner.

As small businesses, we’re positioned beautifully to make a difference in people’s lives. Yes, big corporations make big differences (and sometimes bigger differences), but I believe small businesses can make it more meaningful.

You can brighten someone’s day with a kind word, a lovely product, a well-placed thank you.

You can help people to express themselves with a product you’ve made.

You can process an order quickly (and thoughtfully) for an auntie who’s left it late to buy her niece a birthday present. (Thanks Twinkle Shimmer Shine!)

As I write, I wonder whether it would be helpful for you to reflect on how your products and your business make people’s lives better? I wonder whether it’s worth sense-checking your understanding of the meaning and the quality of your products?

Because I see a lot of things that don’t hold much meaning, and I find it draining. That quick-sell, put-an-initial-on-it giftware that will sell because it’s a gift, but will the recipient really love it in the end? Or is it just a stocking filler to be thrown away on Boxing Day?

You can make people’s lives better with thoughtful, high-quality products. Go for the heart.

(Note: I know there will be people reading who will now worry that I’m talking about their products, and worrying that they’re not meaningful. I think the fact you’re even worrying about that means you’re probably okay!)

Here’s the thing:

You have an opportunity to make people’s lives better, to make your own life better. I believe you can do this through creating products that spark joy, that have meaning, that say something – even if it’s quiet and small.

Among all the ‘do this’, ‘commercially viable’, ‘latest trend’ advice out there, I need to tell you that it might be as simple as asking yourself these back-to-basics questions:

Does this product feel really good?
What would make it feel even better?
Who is going to feel really good about this product?
How is my life improved by this product? (That’s a question for what you buy as well as what you sell)

I know we’re heading into the busiest time of the year, and this is a fairly big theme to consider when you’re quite possibly very busy. My hope is that you’ll see Christmas as an opportunity to make lives better, and that you’ll also think about making your own life better over the coming weeks.

PS I’ll be opening up Progress, not perfection next week for another year of supportive, encouraging emails for this Christmas season. Get a sneak peek here.

But here’s the thing:

Here’s the thing:

Enter The Forge