Here’s the thing: places we get stuck (and how to get out of them)

I’ve noticed in working with creative entrepreneurs, especially designers and makers, and in my own work, there are certain places where we get stuck. Because we’re individuals, they’re nuanced, but there are definitely themes.

I’ve collected five of the most common blocks to doing our best work and shared some of my thoughts on how we get un-stuck. This list is not exhaustive, and so I’d love to hear your experiences of what gets you tied up in knots and how you untangle yourself. Pop a comment below or email me!

 

Worrying about what other people think

Okay, I’ll admit this is a lifetime’s work for me. I’m a people-pleaser, and every year I think I’ll kick this habit, and every year it is stubborn. So my experience is that it’s a practise. A long one that you have to do every day. I remind myself that I’m not here to please people. It’s not my job to make everyone happy. It’s my job to tell the truth, to be myself, to offer business practises and services that I believe in.

Worrying about what other people are doing

There’s the pleasing, and then there’s the comparison. There are so many books I wish I’d written, courses I’d love to run, events I’d love to host, conversations I’d love to have. And when I see other people doing them, it physically hurts sometimes.

And then there’s seeing other people doing things I hadn’t even thought of! Should I be doing that? How can a change my business strategy to include that, because it’s obviously working? Wait. This is always a signal for a pause. To get off social media, to take a walk, to remind myself of what’s important to me.

Comparison is another life-long lesson. But my best advice is to allow yourself that pause to come back to yourself, and to remember that you have to do what’s right for you.

Note: if either of these first two are big for you, consider Self Care on Social Media for Business Owners. We’ll get you some healthy boundaries around social media, comparison and those silly shoulds.

Creative self-doubt: this font or that? This format or that?

In the last 3 days I’ve had emails from coaching clients double checking their new designs. What do I think of the fonts? Are the colours right?

I can help with these questions for my clients because I already know the answers to the following:

  • Who are you designing for?
  • What do they care about?
  • What’s the most important job for this product / service / offering?
  • Do the design choices reflect these things?

Ultimately, feeling confident in your designs requires courage. It’s never easy. There is often doubt and fear lingering around. It’s about having enough of a connection to what you want to create so that you can push through the doubt.

I could write a whole other post (maybe a book?) on listening to the inner signals of what is right and what is fear, following our creative intuition. All I’ll say now is: I know you have a wise inner creative within you, one that knows the answers.

There’s not enough money

If you’re stuck in the “not enough, not enough, not enough” loop, I recommend logging off. Turn off your phone. Close down your laptop. Stop looking at the to-do list. For 15-20 minutes.

Instead, boil the kettle, make a tea or lemon and honey, and sip it. List a few things you’re grateful for, the prosperity you’ve already received. Go to town if you can. Be grateful for the kettle, electricity, and the chair you’re sat in if that’s all you can manage. This is the seed that shifts the worry and lets your brain know you have resources to get through the hard patch you’re in – or realise you’re not in a hard patch at all.

Alternatively, I also find just walking round the block for 20 minutes can shift the overwhelming not enoughness.

Trying to push through when really we need to rest and reset

This. This, my friends, is a theme amongst hard-working, gifted, creative, ambitious (mostly) female entrepreneurs and creatives. There’s a tendency to push and push and push. We think that’s what we’re meant to do – keep going forever, no matter what.

Your energy isn’t infinite, but it is renewable.

If you’re trying to get through an impossible to-do list. If you keep getting hit in the face by a wave coming towards you, with no chance for a breath before the next one hits. If you are so tired that sleep doesn’t even touch the sides (as it were). If you can’t remember what a clear head feels like.

You. Have. To. Rest.

Rest actually speeds up the creative process. Did you know that? It also speeds up success of all kinds. Because we don’t waste precious energy trying to do stuff that isn’t working when, if we had the mental clarity, we’d know that a thoughtful pivot would yield results.

I don’t write this to be facetious or to over-simplify the complex process of building a sustainable and profitable business. Business isn’t simple, but nor is it as complicated as our fear-based brains like to tell us.

So I write this to offer practical steps to get yourself out of stuckness and closer to your dreams.

I can’t wait to hear what works for you!

Jenny x

 

A few offerings

If you’re getting stuck, you might like:

  • Self Care on Social Media for Business Owners. If I could release creatives from comparison and the distraction of social media, I know that the world would be better off. We’d have more true connection, more amazing products and services, and generally more happiness. Be part of this movement to create healthy relationships with social media, especially for business owners. Lifetime membership is £140+VAT.
  • My January retreat weekend. Yes, you’ll rest and reset. Plus you’ll get time to reflect on your business and make an amazing plan for the year ahead. These retreats change lives, I’ve been told. Places are available for just £700, and you can book a place for a £250 deposit.
  • One-on-one coaching. Let’s get into the detail of where you’re standing in your own way, or coming up against obstacles you can’t figure out yet. Create your own unique plan of six sessions for £750.

Here’s the thing: setting business goals or intentions

With September just around the corner, I’m hearing from lots of clients and group members that they’re just feeling a bit overwhelmed and in a bit of a panic. They’re feeling behind – they didn’t achieve what they thought they would over the summer – and they’re diving in too quickly to their to-do lists.

I’m not one to avoid a to-do list (most of the time, anyway), but when you’re flapping around, a little panicky, and trying to catch up on everything all at once, there’s a better way.

That better way is to set some business goals or – my preference – intentions.

I’ve never felt particularly good at setting goals. They’re too finite and, to me, they feel like they’re setting me up to fail.

I much prefer a set of intentions, a clear focus for my energy, that keeps me headed in the right direction.

(If you like setting goals, go ahead. If you like calling it something else, use that. What I’m trying to say is, you get to choose what works best for you.)

Why now?

September is a fabulous time to set some intentions, and works especially well for makers and retail businesses because Christmas (a peak sales time) is coming up. Even if you’re not seasonally driven, there’s a back-to-school feeling that can give us focus.

January is now quite far away, so while you may have set some great intentions or goals for the year as a whole, things have likely come up that need reviewing. Plus, it’s way easier to set and keep intentions for four months, rather than 12!

I think it’s especially important if you’ve had time off or have been juggling childcare over the summer to take a breath before you blindly go back to “normal”. First of all, you need a moment to shift gears. Second, you probably need to review what your priorities are.

I’d wager most of us have probably overestimated what we could achieve in the year so far. That’s okay. It’s not a problem. But it does mean we need to make more conscious choices as we go forth into the final months of the year.

Prioritise a clarity session with yourself

Some time in the next couple of weeks – maybe on 1st September, or perhaps when the kids are back at school – schedule an hour or two to have a clarity session.

Go to a coffee shop or close the door on your office. Whatever gives you time and space to focus on you.

Turn off your phone and close down your tabs. Paper and pen are great because they’ll keep you focused (not checking emails).

Sip on a cup of coffee, tea or other deliciousness. Write down or simply notice how awesome it is to be giving yourself and your business this dedicated planning time. Notice your breath. Maybe deepen it a little.

And then answer these questions:

  • Out of 5, how would you rate the year so far? (5 is awesome, 1 is not great)
  • Where would you like to be by the end of the year?
  • What would a 5 (or your ideal number) look like and feel like? Really try to feel this one in your body. Close your eyes and let yourself sink into how it will feel. This can really help you to clarify what you want.
  • How will you know you’ve reached it? Maybe you’ll know if you hit a turnover number or income level. Maybe you’ll know if you get great feedback. Maybe it’ll be a feeling – but be specific about that feeling.
  • What do you need to focus on? Maybe it’s connection – connecting with customers who love your products. Maybe it’s efficiency, or enthusiasm, or making consistent progress. Maybe it’s a certain product range or service offering.
  • What do you need to let go of? This question is so often the key to success, because we try to do more than what’s physically possible. What are you willing to postpone, put down or delegate in order to remain focused?
  • Why do you want to get to your 5, your goal, your intention? This is your motivation. It’s not easy to stay motivated, but if we’re clear on why we want it, it can keep us moving forward.
  • What’s in your way? Write down three things that are holding you back, and brainstorm a few ideas to shift them.
  • Is there anything that you’re focusing on because you think you “should”? These are other people’s expectations, or perhaps some comparison! Check in on what’s authentically going to give you what you want.

There are no right answers to any of these questions, so let yourself explore them, and add more for yourself if they’re coming up.

Once you’ve circled in on your intentions for the next few months, write them down and put them somewhere you can see them. Make sure your notes are somewhere you can refer to them.

It takes courage to stay on track, to keep focused, to stay true to your own success metrics. Make sure you’re congratulating yourself for every small step in the right direction. I fully believe in you.

A couple of ways you can get support: sign up for coaching for six sessions (you can use your sessions over six weeks or 12 months), get group coaching, or start 2019 with stronger intentions and focus by booking my annual January retreat.

I’d love to know your intentions for the last part of the year! Drop me an email and let me know your plans.

Here’s to us,

Jenny x

Good things come in threes

One of my favourite spoken-word poems is B by Sarah Kay. I highly recommend watching her share it here. It’s one of those things I go to watch when I need some encouragement and inspiration.

A line that resonates: “Good things come in threes, and so do bad things.” Especially this week.

I’ll start with the bad things. We went to France last week, and have a fabulous time, until our car broke down just outside Calais. Oh, for another hour to drive it back into the UK! Alas, our car is still (a week later) in France, not working.

My husband and I have had a string of car-related challenges in the last few years, and this is the third. While I don’t believe we’re cursed, it’s certainly a wake-up call to show us just how much we rely on a car these days, and maybe even something it’s time to invest more in.

So this week, the back-to-work week, has had to be flexible.

I’ve been sorting out insurance, changing my routine, and dealing with the things that come up when your car (and many of your possessions in it) are stranded in France. I’ve had to get things back to basics, work-wise, so that I’m only prioritising the most important things, giving me room to get everything back on track.

The thing is, because both good and bad things come in threes, I thought I’d better gather some good things for myself and for you.

This summer, I’ve been working on my new website with the awesome Evan at Sixteen July, and a few offerings to go with it.

Here are three good things for creative business owners:

1. The Small Creative Business Retreat is back for 2019!

Join me and a wonderful group of talented women for my fifth year of this life-changing, business-boosting retreat weekend. We’re gathering in January to start the year off right in the Cotswolds, with a longer weekend than before (I’ve added a day). You’ll get a comfy bed, delicious food, rejuvenating meditations and enlightening business workshops. Massages are available, and so are naps.

Book today for just £250 deposit.

2. Self Care on Social Media for Business Owners starts 17th September

This 6-week course is designed to revolutionise your relationship with social media, especially if you use Instagram, Facebook and Twitter to market your business. We’ll spend six weeks talking about healthy boundaries, your authentic voice, and the principles of self care that are right for you as you navigate the sometimes challenging world of social media.

When you sign up, you’ll get lifetime membership to the course, because social media is ever-changing (and so is our self care).

3. Get £20 off Progress not Perfection group coaching when you sign up before 1st October

My group coaching programme is an amazing way to get regular coaching with me at an affordable rate. It’s also a fabulous resource centre and community of creative business owners. I’m offering a discount on your first month of the programme to give you the opportunity to experience what it has to offer (because it’s loads).

Sign up now to get £20 off.

So there you have it. A week of bad things, balanced by three really awesome things that I’m just deeply excited about!

What are your three good things this week? Let me know!

Jenny x

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Notes of Encouragement

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