coach Archives - Page 3 of 4

Bloom: my word for 2016

Can you believe it’s 2016 already? In fact, can you believe it’s the 20th January? Crikey!

For the past three years, inspired by Susannah Conway and close friends, I’ve chosen a word for the year. A word to help guide me as I move through the year. In 2013, it was “let go”. In 2014, I chose “trust”. Last year, I decided on “care”. This year, it’s “bloom”.

When I look back at those words, I can see how I started with letting go of old beliefs and things that held me back, moved on to trusting myself and the universe as I started to dream of and create a new life and business for myself.

And of course this feels like a wonderful opportunity to check in with how care influenced last year for me. Having created a new home, a new business, started a new relationship in 2014, I was ready for some care in 2015. I was ready to care for myself, for my home, and for my clients. I was ready to explore what I needed to feel cared for. I also wanted to feel free to care about whatever I cared about – to follow my heart’s lead, rather than the things I “should” care about.

It worked! And it all unfolded in ways I couldn’t have predicted. I invested more in the yoga I love in order to care for my body. I threw myself into the work I love, and allowed myself to care about creating a really beautiful, nourishing retreat. I re-discovered how much I love to work with small businesses, with women, with like-minded folk.

And, at the end of the year, I’m not really done with care. There are ways in which I haven’t yet cared for myself. I’m still working on them. Care, like trust and letting go, has weaved its way into my values and thought processes. Which I thoroughly recommend, by the way. Caring for myself has led to better care of my partner, my home, my clients and my business. Check out last year’s Pinterest board if you’re looking for inspiration on how to invite in more care.

So what can I tell you about bloom?

It feels exciting. It feels expansive. It feels beautiful and feminine and gentle – and yet powerful.

In a session with my coach, Rachel, she suggested limitless as a potential word for 2016. Well, that was terrifying. But I knew what she was getting at: I’ve created this business, I’ve laid down the roots, and now I’m ready to take it to the next level, to expand in all kinds of ways I can’t even predict yet.

I can’t remember exactly where bloom came into my awareness, but I’m so glad it did! All that growth and expansion, but with real beauty and gentleness.

I love that it’s impossible to bloom without roots and nourishment.

I love the idea of blooming into a full expression of myself.

There are delicious quotes about blooming:

“Bloom where you are planted.”

“Happiness blooms from within.”

“She was learning to silence the noise and reawaken her own bright bloom.” (Kelly Rae Roberts) (And I do love a word that’s a verb and a noun…)

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

“Nothing in nature blooms all year – be patient with yourself.”

Don’t they feel hopeful? In fact, don’t they feel full of live in general? To feel alive, that’s what bloom feels like to me.

Of course, I started a Pinterest board for this year, too. I’ll keep adding to it throughout the year as I discover more about what bloom means for me. I can’t wait!

And what about you?

Do you have a word for the year? Have you chosen one before? Is there something you’re ready to invite in to your life and business? Do you fancy joining me in blooming?

I’d love to hear!

Here's the thing: you can't do everything

We think we can. We think we should be able to. We’re told that doing everything is just standard practice. It’s not even a big deal, it’s just what’s expected.

Successful business, perfect relationship, amazing friendships, a house that’s always clean, tidy and stylish, a perfect body, relaxed and highly effective parenting, picture-perfect holidays. That’s the picture. Be quirky, original, AND entirely acceptable.

And at this time of year, we add the idea that “this is just Christmas. This is what it’s supposed to be like: stressful, over-worked, doing everything because everything has to happen.”

It’s that feeling, when you look at your to-do list, that you cannot drop a single thing. They all need to happen before the end of the day. Because they just do! There’s no option!

When we’re over-worked, overwhelmed and have gone too long without sleep, rest and a calm moment – that’s when we’re even more susceptible to thinking we have to do everything. Ironically.

But here’s the thing: you can’t do everything

You’re not super-woman. You’re not superhuman. You, too, are limited by time, fallibility and the human need for sleep.

That’s not to say you’re not strong, resourceful, successful, and doing your best.

Let’s accept that those two things can happen at the same time. (I know you might need to suspend your disbelief for a second. Play along with me…)

If you’re both human and striving to do your best, what does your to-do list look like?

Perhaps you buy the mince pies for your Christmas drinks, instead of making them. Perhaps you cancel the entire thing.

Perhaps you pay for all your presents to be gift wrapped.

Perhaps you let go of a whole load of things.

Perhaps you ask for all kinds of help.

Now, this last one is where it gets tricky, I know, but if you can’t do it all, and some things really need to get done, asking for help is where it’s at.

You’re allowed to ask for help. All kinds of help.

Need a boost or help prioritising or to get it off your chest? I’m here. Get in touch.

I wish you a week of doing your best, but acknowledging that you can’t do it all. Welcome to the club.

Jenny xx

PS I created a little #inspiredadvent thing over on social media, which features a little word a day to prompt you. Today’s is simplicity. Appropriate, non?

Here's the thing: it'll quilt out

I recently decided to make a quilt. I’d been thinking about it for a while, and with the easy distractions of the internet and being able to work from my home, I decided that the manual, physical distraction of making something myself would be good for me in the evenings.

There’s something soothing about slowing hand-stitching hexagons together, piece by piece, that you just don’t get from screen time or social media.

And I love that I’m working on a project that is purely for me. It’s not for sale, it’s not a gift, it’s not for clients or my partner or my family. It’s for me. My taste, my colours, my shapes – just for me.

This quilt, currently still in small pieces stored under my sofa as I work on it slowly, has already given me so much.

A big part is the connection with crafty friends. One friend in particular, Kelly, has been named my Quilting Godmother, and has helped me to learn the steps I need to take. I’ve only sewed buttons and bits for the past 15 years, so her wisdom and awesome teaching has been a blessing to help get me started on the road of quilt-making.

I recently met up with her and took some hexagons to show her, to make sure I was still on track. I’d been putting them together, but worrying that I wasn’t seeing something that would trip me up later. Is this corner tight enough? Have I made this too tight? Will the colours work? Perhaps this sense of questioning everything you’re doing resonates…

Kelly kindly looked at my hexagons, told me they were fine (even good!), so I told her I had been worrying.

And then she told me my favourite new mantra:

It’ll quilt out.

She told me, once I’ve pieced everything together, done things I don’t yet understand about batting and backing, the small mistakes won’t matter. They’ll even add to the charm.

Here’s the thing:

Maybe today, Black Friday, the start of the busiest weekend and weeks of the year, you need to remember that it’ll quilt out.

What are the things that matter? Focus on them.

Ask yourself:

And what about you?

But here’s the thing: you can’t do everything

Here’s the thing:

Enter The Forge