It’s not easy running your own business, working by yourself, or at least being the person it all hangs on.

Sometimes it can seem like everyone is doing better than we are. Their perfectly instagrammed life, work, awards make us feel like we’re missing something, like we’re struggling and less glamorous, and generally less than.

I’ve taken to reminding myself than there’s no lotus – perfect, pretty, delicate – without the mud – messy, stinky, ooze.

That successful award? The result of years of hard work, hours of entry-writing, deep soul-searching.

The beautiful product photos? Weeks of hard work, or, indirectly, the work it took to pay for, brief and manage a professional photographer.

That stunning trip? The reward for months, maybe years, of hard work, and not to mention the sacrifice of travel and time away and saying no to a thousand less important (but still quite appealing) things.

To get what you really want requires commitment, sacrifice, and hard work.

It’s the same for you as everyone else – they haven’t just fallen into it, the same way you can’t simply transport yourself to where you want to be.

But here’s the thing:

Make sure your lotus is worth the mud. And make sure you know you’re making a lotus, not a cabbage or a daffodil or a water lily.

As much as it’s hard work, you don’t have to work yourself to the bone. Often (and I see this with clients all the time), we overestimate what we can achieve, and we believe it’s easier than it really is.

The answer, most of the time, is to prioritise and focus in closely on what you want your lotus to look like.

Is it a regular income? Is it press coverage? Is it meaningful, sustainable work that will keep you going for years to come? Perhaps you really do want everything to look and feel more polished and together.

Have a little brainstorm. Ask yourself what you’d like to work towards. What’s your unique lotus?

Then make sure the mud is worth it. Don’t take on too much. Don’t try to grow too many lotuses at once. Prune.

Nourish your fertile mud. Consume the things that will truly aid your lotus. Don’t over-water. Don’t allow anything that will prevent growth. Add only the good stuff.

For me, this is the crucial bit. Yes, there’s going to be mud, but honestly it doesn’t have to be as hard and crappy as we think it does.

If you’re unsure what your lotus looks like, consider booking onto my March 2016 retreat (opens for booking 12 October). We’ll be diving into so much of this work then.

Jx

As you read this, I’m heading to Heathrow, to get on a flight to Boston. I’ll be away for a couple of weeks.

Right now, as I write, this seems like pure madness. This is a busy time for my clients, and therefore for me. I’ve been writing product descriptions until I dream and product descriptions, and I’ve been mentoring clients in the run up to Christmas, which has its own kind of busy.

Honestly, I’ve felt a little uncomfortable telling people I’m going away. I’ve had holidays since I became self-employed, but they’ve only been a week at a time, and I’ve always taken my laptop with me.

This holiday is a no-laptop zone.

It’s important to me – vital – to have time off, to step away, to have big (and small) adventures. I work to live, not live to work. This trip is a gorgeous thing, a beacon of light. It’s time with a dear friend, exploring a city I love and then disappearing to Cape Cod for a retreat.

Retreating is important – this I know.

It gives us time to reflect and reconnect with what we’re trying to do.

And even though I know that this trip is the right decision for me, it hasn’t stopped the gremlins piping up.

The gremlins that tell me I don’t deserve a nice holiday. That I shouldn’t be taking this time off. That people will think I’m not serious about my business. That they’ll think I don’t care. That they’ll think I’m spoiled or selfish. That they’ll think I’m better off financially than they are.

I don’t know why all of these gremlins are true, but they are. And I wanted to share them with you because, even though I am committed to going away, it’s been a struggle to prepare for and fit in.

I’ve been working full tilt to get as much done as possible, and I’m still pretty sure I’ll have forgotten something and let someone down. (If that’s you, I’m really sorry. I’ve been doing my best and I’ll make it up to you.)

I’ve had to radically shift my usual working pattern, and I’ve had to think really seriously about cash flow and finances to fit this trip in. Because it’s not like I get holiday pay now! Ten days of not working when I usually would work is a big sacrifice.

And yet, this is important to me.

So here’s the thing:

Going on holiday is a commitment. It’s a commitment to yourself and to the longevity of your business.

It’s not a frivolous act, and it’s not selfish. Anything that makes you feel alive is worth your time and effort.

How to go on holiday:

• Choose to go somewhere you really want to visit – otherwise the extra effort doesn’t seem worth it. Don’t compromise on where you want to go or what you want to do. Go all out and work for it. We chose a slightly nicer Airbnb for part of our trip – it’s a little extra cash, but I know I won’t resent it when I’m there.
• Battle the gremlins. Always. Consistently. They’re trying to keep you small and safe. (Thanks, but no thanks.)
• Believe that holidays are for you – and whatever that looks like for you.
• Know that, financially, it will always feel like a stretch. I’ve held my nerve on this one. Big time. (I’ll just mention that I’ve also been planning my retreat for next year, so deposits are paid. More when I get back!)
• Stop taking work on. It was more than a week ago that I stopped saying yes to things I couldn’t do, and offered time when I get back. If you’re a product-based business, you might have to think about lengthening lead times or cutting back the products you offer. You’ll pick up again when you get back.
• Commit to the future, not the immediate present. Going on holiday requires you to believe that you’re worth it in the long-term. You have to focus beyond your immediate income stream, and look beyond at the investment in yourself and your creativity.

And I know that this isn’t a timely post for many – Christmas is coming and holidays are probably the last thing you’re thinking about. But come back to this post when you need it. Or plan a holiday for next year. (Or save the date for my retreat in March – 18 to 20 March 2016!)

I’ll be thinking of you all while I’m away. But not too much.

Jx