Sooooo… It’s taken me a good two weeks to get to writing this update on my Big New Idea. Partly, there was a bank holiday and sunshine that distracted me for a bit. And partly I got totally overwhelmed by the response to my last post!
I wrote the post on a Friday afternoon, after meeting with a photographer who’s on board and excited to work on the project. It suddenly felt like there was momentum! So I woke up on Monday, read through the post and sent it out, merrily getting on with the next thing on my to do list.
I kind of forgot that I was revealing a massive piece of news, directly to the audience I hope will be my customers.
So there I am, trying to focus on getting some more stuff, you know, done, and I start getting emails, comments and direct messages from people who are excited to have a service that offers the full package of product content. Someone even asked if I could do all the “boring” bits of her business, so that she could just spend her time drawing and creating!
Let me be clear: this is totally awesome. Thank you to everyone who got in touch and felt excited! It means a lot to me and I really appreciate the support. It gave me a whole new level of momentum.
For about a day. Because this is what happened next: I did a 180 on the pendulum swing of “Is this going to work?” One day, I was worrying that starting the new content studio would take up too much of my time for not much reward. That I’d really have to drive business hard and spend a lot of time trying to fill a day a month of actual paying work. The next day, I had the opposite fear: the “oh $Β£!&” feeling that I might not even be able to keep up with demand – that this could take over. And do I want it to take over? What if it’s too successful?
Well. First of all, it’s kind of confusing and tiring to feel so many emotions in the space of 24 hours.
It’s also that thing that I often forget: being afraid of success. I’m going to step onto my soap box briefly here, because I want to share this with you.
In our culture, we’re primed to believe that success is always just around the corner, but never quite achievable. We’re programmed to stay small, because keeping us small means that millions of million-pound businesses can market to us based on fear. (“Buy this and it’ll make you lovable.” “If you were really successful, you’d buy this big TV.” “Don’t forget, you need to lose weight in order to be truly acceptable and successful.”)
Especially as women, we have generations of predecessors whose primary role was to support others, regardless of talent, ability and potential to lead fulfilling lives and careers. We’re still carrying those stories around, untangling them bit by bit.
And here’s what I’m trying to untangle: We’re allowed success on our own terms. Truly. But sometimes those old stories – the fear of success, of letting ourselves be seen and loved and really good at what we do – hold us back more than we realise.
Marianne Williamson puts it best:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are more powerful beyond measure. It is light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”
Oh boy. Let’s sit with that one for a bit, shall we?
So, yes. I’ve been trying to go with the pendulum swing, trying to accept the positive response and really take in that this big new idea, this content studio is a good idea. This is something worth pursuing, and has the potential to change my life and my business. I don’t know how or in what direction. But part of starting something new is surrendering to the journey.
As ever, I hope that sharing my thoughts and experiences as I set up something new is helpful, whether you’re starting something from scratch or looking at a new project or phase of your business.
If you have thoughts, feedback or questions, I’d love to hear from you. If the past two weeks have taught me anything, it’s that hearing from people is helpful!
Jx
