Blog - Page 63 of 75

Here's the thing: being your best self

Tell me if this message feels familiar:

“Be yourself, be unique, be original, but only if it looks good on Pinterest and Instagram, and is hand-drawn, organic, on-trend, entirely creative. Oh, and perfect.”

I feel like that’s the message we’re given all the time. Full of pressure, uncertainty, subtlety we don’t understand, and rules we can’t follow. That first bit about being ourselves sounds great, right? We want to be ourselves. We are unique and original, and we want to show it! And we want it to matter.

But recently I’ve been feeling the pull of that elusive thing about being cool, about fitting in, about following the trend-setter rules. And I know you feel them too, those implicit hidden agendas.

As Brene Brown (my fave) says, “fitting in” gets in the way of real belonging. We all know how to hustle for approval, for the sense of belonging we crave. We know how to tweak and adapt and change who we are, what we say, what we like, so that people will like us.

And sometimes, we get caught up in hustling in our business lives as well as our personal lives. (When we’re our own boss, our business and personal lives are so interlinked. And that’s okay, we just need to be aware of it.)

So, how do we make sure we’re being truly authentic, whilst also being our best selves (and our best businesses)?

Let go of perfection. No one is perfect. Everyone has their own blend of creativity, of things they like and dislike, of things they’re good at and not so good at. All your imperfections are okay, right now, even if you haven’t made a sale today, or haven’t lost the weight yet, or whatever your “not good enough” thing is.

Decide what your quality markers are. This is where we get to hold ourselves accountable to the standards we believe in. How do you tell that something’s ready to be put out in the world? (And yes, sometimes it’s a wing and a prayer sort of situation…) For me, I know a blog is right when it speaks from the heart, when I have a piece of truth I want to tell. I don’t worry about whether it is exactly what everyone needs to hear. I’ve stopped worrying that I’m the only one who’s imperfect. I know that truth-telling is essential to me.

You might decide a certain quality level of photo is essential for you, so as long as you’ve got that, you’re good to go, even if you don’t have a witty caption, or a relevant link. You might decide that the spirit of the thing is more important than composition — or the other way around. Reflect what’s important to you.

Check your motivation. If you’re designing something, posting something, saying something, in order to “fit in” or look cool, question yourself. Is this really what you want to be putting out in the world? Do you want to be succumbing to peer pressure, to the unspoken rules that no one understands? Are you looking for validation from people? Ask for feedback from trusted supporters, by all means, but don’t ask Facebook to validate your decisions for you. Only you can do that.

Do you really like pastels, or are you just picking up a trend that other people like? Are you a hand-drawn brand, or is that just what’s cool right now?

Don’t be afraid to claim what you love. Even if everyone else in the world loves it too. Even if it’s featured on A Beautiful Mess. If you love it, you get to talk about it too. How often to we shy away from things because we feel like it’s been done before? And sometimes we try to say ‘Me too’ a little too urgently, in case our opportunity to have what we love slips away. In case there isn’t enough for us too. Believe you can have it, and quietly, patiently, claim it in your own way.

Consider this:

“If the goal is authenticity and they don’t like me, I’m okay. If the goal is being liked and they don’t like me, I’m in trouble.”

Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection.

Last week, I had a big realisation that, for me, it’s about substance over style. I don’t want to look good without also being good. It was a big ‘aha!’ moment for me, and it came out of planning for my retreat. I had a wobble about whether I had good enough goody bag, whether it was big enough, glamorous enough. But the thing is, the retreat isn’t about glossy magazines or going home with lots of swag. It’s about getting good rest, and good business decisions. Way more substance than style. (It’ll still look good, but I’m not about giving people superficial. It’s got to be real to be meaningful for me.)

So I hope this is helpful and gives you some ideas on how to be your best, authentic self as you put your ideas and designs out in the world.

Have a great weekend!

Here's the thing: emails

I don’t know anyone who wins at emails. But I do know this: having a system in place to process emails can add a level of calm and make you feel better about them (and how you spend your time).

As with everything, it’s about finding what works best for you, but I wanted to give you some ideas to try out for yourself.

Use folders (or labels) and rules to your advantage. Have a folder for orders, and get all your order emails automatically sent there. (Google ‘how to automatically file emails in [insert email provider here]’.) You could have a separate one for enquiries, because you process them differently to orders.

I tend to use my actual inbox as to do list items, so I can file emails away when I’ve replied or actioned them. That way, I regularly get down to a handful (sometimes none!) of emails in my inbox, and feel less like I’ve got an endless to do list going on! You may need to do a big clean up to get there, but you could always short cut by setting up and ‘old inbox’ folder, and stick everything in there. It’s all searchable anyway.

Identify emails that are ‘read only’. I have lovely blogs and newsletters I subscribe to that I love to read, but aren’t things I actually need to do. I keep these in an ‘inspiration’ folder, and I read through them at leisure.

Unsubscribe. Don’t just delete emails you’re not interested in anymore. Unsubscribe! Your inbox is a sacred space. It takes up a lot of emotional energy. Don’t let things in that aren’t worth your time.

Schedule email time. I catch up on emails on Fridays. I put aside an hour or so each day to reply to emails. You don’t have to be ‘on call’ for emails every second of every day. Some people check in at the top of each hour, to get enquiries or new orders, and reply to and quick and easy emails. Try putting some boundaries around the time you spend checking email, and turning off notifications at all other times.

Avoid emails first thing each morning. This is a tough one, but I’m going to stand by it. Mornings are often our clearest thinking time, and our most creative time — until we allow other people and thoughts to cloud our minds. One of the best ways you can make the most of a fresh new day is to avoid email for the first hour or so. Try having your breakfast before email. I always write my essential to do list before I check email. Many days, I’ll do some creative work before I get stuck into emails.

Manage email expectations. If you’re usually an immediate replier and are thinking of changing how you use email, consider letting clients, friends and customers know that you’re shifting things around a bit. ‘I’m trying something new to help manage my time more effectively, so I may not be able to reply immediately.’ Some people like to send out auto-respond emails. I shy away from them, because I don’t want to send an email to say I’m going to send an email, unless I’m on holiday and it’ll be more than a week before I can respond. Whatever you decide, your actions speak louder than words, so know that if you always reply immediately, that’s what people will start to expect. And if you reply at night, people will think you’re available 24/7.

Prioritise. What’s most important for you to respond to? I (mostly) prioritise my existing mentoring clients over potential new clients, but I try to set aside time for both each day. You might decide that customer enquiries are your top priority, because it’s easy to prevent problems when they’re replied to quickly. Be clear on what’s top of your list, and consciously allow other things to fall to the bottom.

Ultimately, I want you to know that struggling with emails is universal, and it doesn’t mean your business is failing. But it is something that can make you feel better if it’s working well for you. Experiment this week, and let me know your techniques.

PS Today is the absolute last day to book a place on my retreat in a couple of weeks. I have two places left. If one of them should be yours, book now!

Here's the thing: farewell February

Honestly? This week I’ve felt pretty tired and not very organised. General feeling: not quite in the game.

I went to Budapest last weekend, which was really fun and totally cool, but took my Monday away. And on Wednesday I went to see Bespoke Verse and lots of other lovely small business owners for tea and cake. Again, a really fabulous way to spend a day!

But the net result is that I’ve been out of my nice routine that includes lots of time to get things done. Which makes me feel like I haven’t quite done enough. Can you relate?

February isn’t known to be extraordinarily busy (although I have a few clients who were rushed off their feet for Valentine’s Day this year). I certainly didn’t expect to feel run down, tired and unable to catch up.

At Christmas, sure, and in the run up to it. I prepare, and give myself lots of cushioning and nice stuff. But I wasn’t expecting it now.

So on Thursday I was determined to get back to my routine, with a slow morning and the bare minimum of tasks (so that I would have plenty of time to ease into it).

I’m reminding myself that I don’t have to do it all right away. An epic to do list rarely gets me motivated, so I’m sticking to essentials and things I really want to do.

This afternoon, I’ll spend half an hour writing little notes to people who’ve made my February enjoyable. A little ritual to say farewell to the month just gone.

How will you say farewell to February?

Was it a good month for you? Are you glad to see the back of it?

Are you ready to come out of hibernation, into Spring? If not, what do you need to get you there?

I’d love to hear about your routine and how you get back into it when it’s disrupted.

PS Last remaining places available for my retreat in just 3 weeks are available here. Booking has to close on Thursday 5 March, and there are only a handful left. Time to book your spot!

“If the goal is authenticity and they don’t like me, I’m okay. If the goal is being liked and they don’t like me, I’m in trouble.”

How will you say farewell to February?

Notes of Encouragement