Here's the thing: thoughts on being tired

tiredAre you really tired? As an entrepreneur. As a boss. As a creative. As a parent. As a person. It’s tiring. There’s always so much STUFF to do. Never ending. Doom-laden.

I can totally relate.

I was on holiday (honeymoon) recently and I actually got to a point of not-tired. Which was amazing! How long is it since I felt like that?!

And so obviously I wanted to keep feeling not tired, even when I got home and was back to the normal routine and pressures. One of the best things about my honeymoon (that I can talk about publicly – oo-er!) was the clarity it allowed me. Space to think. Space to reflect. No deadlines. No ‘must-do’ items. No urgency.

You know what came up five days in? I was afraid of getting tired. Deeply afraid. Like it would break me to get even a little bit tired.

What I thought of as ‘tired’ was actually ‘totally burnt out with nothing left’. 

Lightbulb moment!

Tired is not bad.

Tired is not failing.

Tired doesn’t mean I’m not fit enough, strong enough, good enough.

It means I need to rest and receive. It means I’m human.

Because I’ve frequently pushed myself beyond merely ‘tired’ and into ‘burnout’, I’ve become afraid of tired. But tired is fine and natural and enjoyable when it works. When it asks for rest and respite and is allowed.

I see so much pressure in the online world, on social media, among creative entrepreneurs, to hustle and get it all done and be total and utter superheroes. The answer to productivity? Schedule everything to within a millisecond! Not getting the sales? Work harder and longer! Something you’re not sure about? Worry until your body is shot through with adrenaline fatigue and the effects of long-term stress.

You know what? I don’t see respect for our humanness in that.

What if we respect tired more?

What if we acknowledge that the response to tired isn’t more caffeine or a tighter schedule or more sugar and carbs and Buddha bowls?

The natural response to tired is rest.

Somewhere along the way, we forgot.

If you, like me, have been on the brink of breakdown or quitting or burnout, will you look at your relationship to tired?

Here’s the thing: dealing with tired means we can deal with everything else

How does your body tell you it’s tired?

How does your brain tell you it’s tired?

(I’ve noticed that my brain often gets tired first, so walking or running or yoga helps my body to take over for a while, so my brain can rest. There’s no point sleeping when my body’s pumped, even if my brain thinks it’s ready for sleep.)

Where can you find, schedule, and commit to resting your weary brain, body, heart and soul?

What’s the moment you could take your foot off the pedal so that tired doesn’t turn into burnt out?

Which expectations do you need to let go of? When do you tell yourself you ‘should’ keep going, even when your body is telling you it needs to stop?

Who do you need to follow or unfollow to encourage your healthy relationship with rest and humanness?

Here are some of my favourite resources:

You know what else helps? Connecting with other people who treasure rest. Who value it and recognise that we’re worth the rest we need, no matter what. But sometimes we have to stand up to the whole world that tells us we have to earn it in a plethora of ways.

If you need encouragement, I’m here. If you need strategies, I’m here. If you need to talk it through or work on how to stand up to others or figure out how to grow your business without burning out, I’m here.

We can do this. (And I don’t mean hustle hard.)

Jenny xx

Here's the thing: we're more powerful than we realise

our power as consumersI’ll be honest: there are times when the world of retail gets me down. Meaningless purchases that end up in landfill, a huge volume of plastic that our planet doesn’t enjoy, an increase of consumer debt… It can all add up to something that just doesn’t feel good.

I’ve been thinking recently about how to get more comfortable with retail again. I’ve been thinking about what’s important and necessary and meaningful.

And it strikes me that we’re more powerful as consumers than we realise. The money we spend tells companies what’s important to us, whether it’s environmental, aesthetic, cultural, idealistic or other factors.

I read an article recently which claimed women make 80% of household purchasing decisions so even if we’re not earning the money (let’s change that anyway), we’re highly influential. Imagine if 80% of household decisions were made based on where our food came from, how it’s grown, where our clothes come from, or whether those companies treated people well and supported women in the workplace – or whatever is important to you.

I guess I’ve been thinking about it recently because of the election, and because the world seems a little chaotic, and I have to hope it’s being shaken up so that we can create something better.

Yes, we can go to the polling station and vote.

But we can also vote for the world we want with the money we spend.

That’s a huge part of my belief in small businesses. I adore the Just A Card campaign – if we all purchased the cards and small gifts we love to give from small businesses, we’d keep an entire industry of creatives (and increasingly female creatives) in business.

And it goes for the bigger purchases too.

We get to put our money where our values are.

I’ve long been about quality over quantity – a single pair of good quality jeans over throw-away pairs that last a couple of months.

And I want to support people who are doing good in the world: lifting others up, creating unique work, showing up as themselves, courageously making the things only they can make, working towards healing and happiness. (Is this you? Tell me, and show me where and how I can support.)

I’m an advocate. I care about people. I care about the people behind the business, and I want to support them. Not only with the mentoring, retreats, courses, services and love I offer professionally, but also in the things I buy from them.

Here’s the thing

We each have our own set of values. They fluctuate from time to time, but we mostly know what we care about, deep down.

Let’s stand behind them, and allow the money we spend to speak for us (as well as our words and other actions).

Let’s make purchases from people we like, of products that we love and reflect our values.

Let’s ensure our decision-making counts.

Maybe even just your next purchase. Buy something from someone doing good work in the world. They’ll thank you for it, and so will all the people they support, and so on.

***

PS If you need to find your own meaning, or at least a little more, join me on Thursday for an online mini retreat. Read and register here.

Here's the thing: dealing with uncertainty in business

how to deal with uncertaintyWe all know that being self-employed has its risks. When you step away from a regular paycheck, you miss out on the security of knowing how much you’re going to get paid and when. Someone else takes on the challenge of making sure everything’s in the black, and you get to show up, do your work, and get paid for it. Not all the time, because there can be uncertain times in permanent jobs for sure, but quite often.

When you run your own business or are freelance or whatever your preferred way to say it is, there’s much more uncertainty.

And right now, in my client circles and networks of online retailers, it feels like there’s quite a lot of uncertainty flying around. Perhaps it’s that sales are down, or that retail patterns seem to be shifting more drastically than they have before. Perhaps the market is shifting. Perhaps Brexit and world politics are changing consumers’ behaviour.

And perhaps not.

As I think about how I deal with uncertainty and how I help my clients deal with it, the first thing that comes to mind is one thing: data. What data do we have? Can we trust it? What does it actually tell us?

Because we can get wired up and insecure and swayed by anecdotal evidence. If you don’t read any further or get the printable worksheet below, at least take this:

Check what you know about what’s true for your business and your industry. Fact-check. Don’t rely solely on others’ opinions or anecdotes for data you’re going to use to make your business decisions.

You might do some of your own research. You might find some specific statistics. Or you might stop looking outward at other people and go inward, looking at your business. Make sure your information is good.

Here’s the thing

When I’m faced with decisions or situations coming up, I like to look at the options and possibilities so that I can see potential outcomes and plan what I’ll do if any of them actually happen. This also gives me the opportunity to check in on how likely each possibility is.

Ultimately, I make plans based on what I can control and influence, which gets me out of paralysis and worrying, and into positive action. And as my mum would say, “Where there’s clarity, make decisions.”

I’ve included a few prompts below, but I’ve also made this longer worksheet version that you can download and print so that you can use my own process for dealing with uncertainty.

  • What do I actually know about what’s facing me right now?
  • What am I worrying about right now?
  • Is there anything I’m ready to stop believing, because there’s no evidence?
  • How do I feel about my current situation?
  • How can I manage or deal with my feelings so that I can consider the situation from a practical point of view?
  • Have I been in a similar situation in the past? What happened then?

I hope this all helps. Uncertainty is not easy to deal with, but having the support of a network or mentor (hi!) can really help.

If you have questions or are still feeling stuck or worried, I’d love to hear from you. If there’s a video or course or blog I can offer to help YOU (yes, you), I’m all ears.

Until soon,

Jenny x

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Notes of Encouragement

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