believing in yourself Archives - Page 5 of 5

As I write, I have a list of ten blog posts I want to write. This subject of simple abundance didn’t quite make the list this week, especially as I posted about finding enough last week, but it really feels like what I want to say today, so here it is.

Abundance is a challenging concept when we’ve lived in a world that forces scarcity down our throats in a bid to get us to work really hard, buy the “right” things. In a world where having the majority of people feel inadequate is “good” for business – good for capitalism.

Abundance is a challenging concept for small business owners, entrepreneurs and creatives. When you’re self-employed, there’s a leap of faith. A client asked me this week if I thought that it ever stops being uncertain. The answer, truthfully, is no, I don’t think life ever stops being uncertain, we just get better at trusting it and ourselves. We just get better at making huge leaps of faith.

Abundance is a challenging concept for parents, especially when you’re a small business owner, but also just in general. It can feel like there’s an infinite amount of time, money, and energy you need or could spend on your children and your life. And how do you teach your children the resilience required to live in a world that believe in scarcity, when you’re afraid yourself?

First, let’s just decide to believe that you are stronger than you currently believe. You have resources you haven’t even dreamt of. Or perhaps you remember a time in your life when you really had to dig deep – you know what you have within you. Except there’s more.

And then let’s decide that there’s enough in the world for everyone. There’s plenty, in fact. Perhaps that’s quite a suspension of disbelief for you. Just try it on for a while. There’s plenty of time, money, resources, customers, ideas, opportunity, love, space. It’s just a matter of seeing it.

The trick, really, is to be able to see it.

And that requires a hell of a lot of strength. Because you have to get really clear about what you want more of (and what you don’t). You have to keep holding yourself to want you want, and set up all these boundaries around it, so that you’re not leaking out your time and energy to things that don’t give you what you want.

That hour you spent scrolling through Facebook? Not giving you what you want. The time you spent lying awake wondering what to do about such and such project? Not giving you what you want. The energy you spend second guessing yourself, or the world, or your customers? Not giving you what you want.

Here’s the thing:

Start finding your own simple abundance in the everyday. Discover for yourself that there’s plenty right in front of you. And start finding the leaks and gently, carefully, sealing them up.

Abundance is the fully functional tap in your kitchen. As much water as you like, whenever you like! And hey, is that a kettle I see over there? You already have the means to make as much delicious, comforting tea as you like. Do not compromise on tea. Get your absolute favourite out right now and enjoy it! Maybe you even spend a moment feeling grateful for everyone who has made it possible for you to drink such a delicious cup of tea – the tea-pickers, the tea company, whoever invented tea bags or tea pots, the shop you bought it from, the plumber who hooked you up to the water main, the kettle manufacturer. Simple abundance, in a cup.

Abundance is the 10,000 (approximate figure) opportunities I see on a daily basis. To create an amazing pop up shop. To send out brilliant press releases. To put yourself out there. To add personalisation to that product. To improve your photography. Endless tweaks, and big business ideas. But listen: you can’t see them if you’re caught up in scarcity or fear or busy-busy. You get to choose how busy you are. Choose the things that bring you closer to abundance, rather than feeling unfocused and weary.

Some leaks to fix:

Social media. Switch off your notifications for at least an hour a day, if not more. Feel the clarity rush back into your brain.
Working when you’re over-tired. Rest is essential to productivity. The better rested you are, the more efficient you’ll be. Sleep. Have a lie down. Seriously, have a lunch break or a quiet sit today.
Requests you don’t want to agree to. Do you keep getting caught up in doing people favours that aren’t fun, or dealing with customer requests that take up your time? Put a boundary around your time and sanity, and say no. Consistently. With grace. And then move on.
Email. I don’t have the answers to this, but start by unsubscribing from anything you don’t read. And then set up filters or rules to move any notifications into a folder. Simple abundance.

These are the small tasks that take courage, energy and strength to do the first time. But I promise that as you do them more, they’ll become less of an effort. You’ll be able to say no with ease, and you’ll realise how much benefit you get out of keeping your energy for yourself and your business.

Abundance is simple. It doesn’t have to be big. It doesn’t have to be a sudden increase in sales or income. It doesn’t have to be a mansion or a yacht. It can be a cup of tea and an entire hour to yourself.

Give yourself abundance. The world isn’t going to. But you definitely can.

PS My new ecourse, Inspired Action, is now open for registration. Taking place in July, it’ll include four weeks of inspiration and guidance to help you start or improve selling online. It’s basically everything I know about setting up shop! Read more and register here.

Every Friday I post a “here’s the thing” blog. “Here’s the thing” is something my mum (and many other wise people) like to say when they’re about to make a good point. Hopefully these posts are also good points.

One of the most challenging things about running a business that’s just you and your creations is talking yourself up – also known as “selling yourself”. (Which sounds dodgy and undesirable. So let’s call it self-promotion instead.)

Over the last couple of months, I’ve had several conversations with people who are pretty uncomfortable with putting themselves out there for PR, about pages, acknowledgements, and even awards.

Now, I’m not saying you have to do anything. I’m not saying you have to move drastically out of your comfort zone. There are plenty of successful business that quietly go about their business, creating awesome stuff and selling it. They don’t have awards or trophies. They do just fine.

But.

There are benefits to being able to talk confidently about yourself. Putting yourself out there can be good for your business. The trick – and the challenge – is to do it with authenticity.

Being authentic in what you say about yourself not only gives people a realistic impression, it is also absolutely vital for your own sense of self. Go out there and say something you don’t really mean, and you’ll get the heeby-jeebies afterwards. You’ll feel like you did yourself a disservice, that you let yourself down, that you can’t ever see those people again because what you told them wasn’t true and they’ll think you’re a fraud.

And guess what? Self-promotion won’t seem like something you want to do at all.

On the other hand, if you talk about yourself with confidence, courage and compassion, you’ll very likely have a totally different experience. We all know when we’ve read something authentic, that’s from the heart and honest. Not honest in that too-honest, nervous breakdown way, but really thoughtful and considered. You can do that, too.

I promise, when you’re really in touch with your own authenticity, your audience (whoever they may be) will connect with you more.

That’s not to say everyone will love you and you’ll suddenly win 10,000 awards. But you’ll have put something good out there into the world. The people who like you, the ones who comment or buy from you or give you the press feature – they’ll be doing it because they really mean it.

And I believe anyone who sticks their head up over the parapet with something honest and authentic to say is worthy of all the awards. In fact, I think anyone running their own business deserves a big old trophy on their wall. You’re awesome. FACT.

So here’s the thing:

Write yourself up. Not because there’s one specific award you want to enter or PR feature you want to win. Write yourself up because it’s good practice for when you do want those things. And it’s great to have stuff on file that you can refer to.

Some tips for finding good and authentic stuff to say about yourself:

Find three things you’re really good at or proud of. Maybe no-one else has done them before, or you really beat the odds to do something. Maybe you’re always the first to see the silver lining. Or your business is completely eco-friendly. Or you’ve built a business with no external investment. Or you’ve built a business and a family all in the space of 5 years. Or you’ve designed incredible bestsellers in between hospital visits (for whatever reason) – it’s not a sob story, it’s your truth.
Uncover the story. Whether it’s an award or a journalist, they want a story. They want to know the beginning, middle and end of your success. How did you start out? What were the obstacles? How did you overcome them? What’s the next bit? Where will it take you? And you don’t have to try to seem perfect. If it was bloody hard and took you 25 goes, that shows that you’re resilient and hardcore, which might just be what they’re looking for.
Think of yourself as a friend you love and respect. Or a daughter or younger relative you adore. What would you say about yourself through those eyes? Maybe you suddenly see the quiet but passionate light in your eyes. Perhaps it’s suddenly clear how amazing it is that you’ve made 10,000 customers happy. It’s all true.

This is an exercise is self-belief. No two ways about it. And the dark, sinister voices in your head (let’s call them Fear and Vulnerability) don’t want you to believe it for a second – too risky. Well, F and V, you can F right off!

There is business sense in believing in yourself. There’s a whole load of other stuff too, but I have a feeling if I tell you it’s for the good of your business, it might seem a bit more essential…

Just do ten minutes this weekend. I dare you.

What’s your best foot? Do you have tips on presenting yourself? I’d love to hear!

Here's the thing: simple abundance

Here’s the thing:

Here's the thing: Self-promotion

So here’s the thing:

Enter The Forge