general musings Archives - Page 5 of 6

Here's the thing: what it's like to mentor with me

A few weeks ago, I was on a call with a client who asked whether she was using the time “correctly”, whether she was like other clients in her worries, questions, progress.

My first reaction was: it really doesn’t matter. If this is right for you, this is what we’ll talk about.

So we carried on. And then someone else asked me what it was like to mentor with other people, too. So, I figured it’s probably time to spill the beans.

This week’s blog post is an open letter to all current and future mentoring clients about what it’s like to mentor with me.

You bring lots of worries, thoughts and ideas – I listen and try to identify the most important bits.
We talk about everything – products, marketing, websites, branding, pricing, suppliers, social media, colleagues, business, family, weather, food, tea, rest, meditation, books. Everything is on the table.
We talk about feelings as well as practical stuff, and I usually add a to do list for the week which can include anything from uploading a product to researching a supplier to getting an early night. Sometimes it includes throwing out everything that was already on your to do list.
We repeat things on a week to week basis – sometimes we spend weeks talking about the same thing before it feels like we’ve made progress. This is entirely normal, and to be expected, as we realign your business practice and create new habits and ways of thinking.
Time management is always a thing – always.
I will encourage you to use (make you use) spreadsheets. Resistance is futile.
We usually end up with a shared, secret Pinterest board to share ideas for branding, photography and projects. This is one of my favourite parts of the job.
Typically, you need as much encouragement as I can fit into a call. It’s okay to need real reassurance from someone you can trust.
You can ask for what you need – nothing is off-limits to talk about, but I might point you in a different direction for better help where relevant.
I am an excellent secret-keeper. Several clients have shared news with me long before anyone else, because I’m here to help plan for change.
There will be moments of silence as I scribble down notes. I’ll ask you to repeat things, or say more about something, so that I really feel like I know what you’re worrying or thinking about.
I’ll give you options, suggestions, choices. It’s up to you to take them.

Here’s the thing

There’s no right way to run a business. Yes, some of the things I work with clients on (like getting your pricing to work for you) are business essentials. But a lot of the time, we talk through questions that are varied, multi-level and complex. The places where you can’t see the wood for the trees. I help you see the wood.

If I had one message for all my clients or anyone who feels they it, this would be it:

It’s okay to need reassurance, and it’s okay to feel like you’re stepping into the unknown. You are. And it’s amazing.

My first retreat

I find Cliff House quite easily. I’d been studying the map for weeks (probably months) and felt like I knew all the landmarks by heart. I pull in, and it feels like the clouds part.

I get out of the car, and let myself into this beautiful Victorian house, which is – fortunately – everything I had hoped for. I walk through the hallway, into the dining room and through to the kitchen. It’s in there that I do a little jump up and down, starting to feel the bubbles of excitement for what this weekend is going to be.

My sister arrives shortly afterwards, which ramps up the excitement. She and Ross are almost as amazed as I am that this is our home for the next few days.

We walk round everywhere, getting lost and confused a few times. Holly and Lara arrive, and after that, guests arrive in fits and starts. Every time someone new arrives, I feel the excitement all over again.

There are introductions, squeals, hugs, so much chatter. As evening comes in, there’s Prosecco, and then dinner is served. The food is good. The wine is good. Both are better than I had hoped.

Everything’s pretty smooth so far, but I’m nervous for the next bit. For the opening ceremony. This is where I show them what it’s going to be like, here on this retreat. I’m going to introduce some concepts, and I’m going to lead a meditation. Are they going to go for it? Will I be able to calm my nerves to do it?

And there are some hesitations, but everyone sinks into this new way of being – a different kind of workspace.

We start to relax in a way we haven’t in a long time.

Every moment starts to get longer, and suddenly it feels like we have so much time.

***

I’ve been trying to find some words to explain what the retreat was like, for me and for my guests. It’s taken a while (unusual for me – I like the words). The retreat weekend was more than words, more than output, more than problem-solving.

It was a feeling.

Last week, I looked back through my notes of how I wanted guests to feel at the end of the retreat, and my notes say: seen and heard, supported, allowed to thrive, nourished, clear, well rested.

Yes, that’s what I wanted. And that’s what happened.

It’s easy to forget that being well rested, really relaxing and letting go of the brain clutter, can allow you to open up to new ideas, to what you really want. That’s what we did.

And on Saturday afternoon, as guests were going for massages and making moodboards, it felt like we’d been there a week. We’d been there 24 hours.

The messages I’ve received then and since have been wonderful, tear-inducing things. I know that the retreat made a difference to everyone who came, and it’s amazing seeing how much people have achieved in just over a week since they got home! That’s what clarity does, I guess.

But it’s also changed how I’m looking at my business. This is the work I really want to do – working with small business owners holistically, talking to them as people as well as businesses. Not just at retreats, perhaps, but acknowledging what we believe and how we feel as people can drastically effect our work as businesses.

Yes to that. And yes to more of this work for me.

My word for 2015: care

For the last couple of years, I’ve chosen a word for the year. Something that I could use as a reminder when I needed it, or something that I could dive into.

In 2013 it was “wishing” – I wanted to be really honest about what I wished for, what I wanted my life to be like.

For 2014, I chose “trust”. It was time to start trusting myself to make those wishes come true, and to start trusting the universe that things would develop at just the right time.

And blimey, was that true! Those dreams I dreamed in 2013 pretty much all came to fruition in 2014: I left my job, started my business, started a big new relationship, and bought a flat. Whew!

This year, I wanted something a little more gentle, and something that would bring me back to this new life that I’ve created. I’ve been thinking about settling in to the new flat, a new routine, and some new work, and I wanted a word that would speak of getting comfy in this new (mental, emotional, physical) space.

After some ponderings, I chose care.

In 2015, I’m going to care for myself. This new self-employed life allows for midday yoga classes, short runs, carefully cooked lunches, and regular breaks. I’m my own boss, which means I’m in charge of how many breaks I’m allowed and the kind of chair I sit on. But it’s not just work: I’ll be continuing to care for myself physically, emotionally and mentally.

I’m going to care about my clients. I pretty much get to choose who I work with, and generally it’s my policy to work with clients who get me really fire up. In the past 6 months, my clients have been people and businesses I can really get behind. Yes! More of that!

I’m going to care about and tend to my own business. If you run a business, you know that lots of things need regular attention, from your record-keeping to your website. I love the idea of tending to my business, blog and website like I would a garden – with regular care and attention.

And I’m going to be really honest about what I do care about. When I chose “wishing” in 2013, I was ready to be honest with myself about what I wanted, even if I didn’t tell anyone else, ever. Because, like many people, I have moderated my desires so that they’re acceptable to other people. I wanted to please other people more than myself. I often need prompting to just open up to what I really think, what or care about.

And that last bit is what I want to bring to life this year. I’m a passionate person. I care, deeply, about people and principles. I care about doing a good job. I care about finding a great solution, and about finding clarity. I care about supporting small businesses, fully – not just saying it, but actually offering services and support that make a difference.

This year, I will care, and I will show it.

Have you chosen a word for 2015?

I’m incredibly curious about choosing a word in a business context. I chose something that would work for me personally and professionally, but perhaps you just do one or the other?

If you haven’t chosen a word yet, you might like to think about the qualities you want to bring into your life or your business in the next 12 months. I like to have something simple and all-encompassing, but you could also be more specific if that feels good to you.

Do you need some care in 2015?

Whether you’re just starting out or looking for a year that will push your business forward in new ways, I’m here to help. My mentoring services are available, and I have a few spots open right now.

I’m also running The Small Creative Business Retreat in March. It’s going to be an exciting and relaxing long weekend to re-focus your energy on your business. If you’re interested in joining me, please book soon so we don’t run out of space!

Here’s the thing

This year, I will care, and I will show it.

Have you chosen a word for 2015?

Do you need some care in 2015?

Enter The Forge