Every Friday I post a “here’s the thing” blog. “Here’s the thing” is something my mum (and many other wise people) like to say when they’re about to make a good point. Hopefully these posts are also good points.

Getting feedback on products, orders, services, social media posts, photos and, y’know, everything is really important for businesses. Do customers like it? Does your mum like it? Is there anything that could be better? Why would they buy it? Why wouldn’t they buy it? Do they think it’s a 5 out of 10 or an 8 out of 10?

Knowing about people’s experiences can help you to streamline and develop your business for the better.

And when people love your stuff, it’s really, really uplifting. You remember what you’ve always known but sometimes forget: that this is what you love to do, what you’re meant to do, what you’ve worked really hard to be able to do.

Woohoo!

Negative feedback. Oh, the pain.

You worked really hard to create something that’s kind of part of you. You made it. It came from your brain, via your hands, into the world. And they don’t like it. They think it’s too expensive, or too flimsy, or too small, or it was delivered later than they expected. They don’t like the colour.

Or, as I heard from a friend recently, their boyfriend didn’t like the envelope. (Please, get a grip.)

And out of the thousands of customers who are happy, delighted, ecstatic or just quietly content (because that’s great too), you remember the handful of negative comments.

Why? And how do you get rid of it?

We’re genetically, evolutionarily* programmed to receive feedback and moderate behaviour based on it. We do it as kids, and it’s how we learn to read and write and exist with fellow human beings. You get corrected on your spelling, and you learn from it. You burp at the table, get told off, and you learn from it.

As a species, it’s really important that we please our tribe so they don’t throw us out on our own, where we’ll die via lions and tigers and bears (oh my!).

And when you’re a creative business, a solopreneur, that’s terrifying. You’ve built a tribe of customers who aren’t obligated to like you (they’re not your mum) and you’ve got them to buy something from you, and you get really excited about building this group of brilliant people who get you, get your craft, get your products and then… Damn. They don’t like it. They don’t like it as much as you want them to like it.

You worry. You worry that everyone will think the same as them. You equate one person’s opinion with eternal truth. You lose perspective. Your evolutionary brain is telling you to moderate your behaviour. Change everything about your business to please everyone. And it gets angry, because your safety is threatened. Or it breaks down and tries to hide from the truth, because fight or flight is a real thing that happens every day.

And I know. I’ve been there. In two months, I’ve had one person say something I’ve offered is too expensive. That’s one person versus the eight mentoring clients and 20+ other clients I’ve worked with, who are happy and grateful and value what I do. (Hi guys, love you.)

And it got me. I had to walk around the flat physically trying to shake the feeling off me. Had I missed the mark? Should I not have offered it? Was I barking up the wrong tree?

No. Perspective. A service that offers value and, well, service. 28+ clients. In two months. And the realisation that I can’t please everyone. And that I don’t want to.

So here’s the thing:

Negative feedback happens, especially as your business grows and you get more customers. Because a wider pool of customers means a higher risk of crazy people or people who don’t get it or people who value other stuff to you.

First step: Is it actually true? If the order to negative ratio is more than, say, 10%, you might need to consider whether you’ve got a quality issue or room-for-improvement value proposition. No biggie. Roll with it. Call me. You can deal with it.

Second step: Perspective. Opinion is not fact. One person’s preference for envelopes doesn’t make yours crap. One person’s ridiculously high expectation doesn’t mean you have to match it.

Third step: Get it out. Tell someone. Rant about it. Let it go. Write it down and set fire to it. Whatever it takes to get it out of your head.

It’s your job to put a great product out there, with a fair price, with clear expectations, and then deliver on it. It’s also your job to take constructive criticism and consider whether feedback would make your product and service better. It’s their job to understand the product, accept the limitations and nature of the product, and receive it.

It is not your job to succumb to every whim of every weirdo who didn’t get it.

As Brené Brown (there she is again) says, “Don’t try to win over the haters; you are not the jackass whisperer.”

 

*I wasn’t sure evolutionarily was a word, but it totally is and I learned something today.

Every Friday I post a “here’s the thing” blog. “Here’s the thing” is something my mum (and many other wise people) like to say when they’re about to make a good point. Hopefully these posts are also good points.

Earlier this week, I tweeted about authenticity, asking whether it was something anyone thought about. That tweet came up after I chose it as my word for the week this week, because I needed the reminder that being authentic is important to me as a person, and to my work and business.

But what does that mean? Well, for me, it means working with clients I really connect with – I don’t have to pretend to like them or their products or their businesses: I actually do like them. It means being real, and that means being honest about what I can and can’t do, or about the fact that I’m also a flawed human being who sometimes puts off doing the washing up for way too long.

Being real, being honest, being true to who I am – that’s really important.

And I know from working with some incredibly talented, ambitious and skilful clients that authenticity is something that’s valued by the small creative business community. Authenticity is somehow implicitly linked to the practice of being creative and selling your craft.

How do you sell your products without being “salesy”? How do you talk about yourself and your business up without appearing arrogant or pushy? How do you present the best of yourself, without appearing fake, but also without revealing a bit too much? How do you stay true to your craft, passion, talent, without selling out in the name of money, popularity or competition?

Is your ambition authentic to your craft, or will you go after anything in the quest for more sales? I get asked a lot whether a particular brand can expand into a new product area or market. The answer is almost always yes, but does it still feel authentically like you, like an extension of your brand? That’s the thing that can be challenging, but ultimately makes you feel like your business is still your business.

At a basic level, the idea of a false conversation with someone, or pretending to be someone I’m not, makes me want to tear my hair out. Actually, it makes me lose enthusiasm, passion, energy just thinking about it. Bleurgh!

So here’s the thing:

To grow your business in a way that’s sustainable and stable, it needs to include authenticity. It needs you to be honest about what’s imperfect, what’s real and what’s not.

If being authentic feels important to you, work out what that means. What makes you feel most like you? What makes your business feel like your business, and not someone else’s? What’s so unique to your brand that you can’t do without it?

And an important note: being authentic doesn’t mean you share every single thought you have on social media. It doesn’t mean you purposefully hurt someone because you don’t like them. It means saying no, steadily and surely, and walking away from the things that don’t resonate.

This week, in all the crazy school holidays, Christmas planning and general life, I hope you’re able to find a moment to think about authenticity and the part it plays in your business.