notonthehighstreet Archives - Page 2 of 2

Here's the thing: pausing

In each moment, in each day, we have an opportunity to pause and consider what we want our businesses (lives) to be like.

To me, this feels obvious, necessary, and ongoing. I spend a lot of my time talking with people about what they want their businesses to be like. I spend a lot of time facilitating the pause, and the answers.

But I also know that it’s something that gets squished down to the bottom of the list on a daily basis. I know that it can be incredibly hard to put time aside for this, and to give yourself permission for it.

So, even though it feels (to me) like I say this a lot: take time to pause.

You’ll feel better for it. You’ll gain clarity. And the more you do it, and follow through on whatever you need or want to bring in, the more clarity, happiness, and ease you’ll feel.

You can do it on a micro level, a daily, momentary, what-do-I-need-this-afternoon level.

In fact, you can do that right now. Sit in your seat, take a deep breath. Feel the pause. Feel the potential – you can change your day around from this point forward! What is missing from your business, your life, your surroundings, right now? Perhaps it’s inspiration, enthusiasm, or creativity. If that feels really strong to you – that desire to feel inspired and creative – maybe you could give yourself an hour to read something inspiring, or go to an art gallery. Mix up your usual routine.

As you sit, you might feel like you’re in need of productivity – perhaps you’ve been piddling around all day or all week. What about giving yourself one thing to finish today? Or setting a timer for 20 minutes to work on one task (and one task only)?

On a bigger level, a deeper level, you could take half an hour to wonder about what you want your business to be like. Not just problem-solving the stuff that’s going on right now, but thinking about a year or two from now. What do you want your business to be like then? Let yourself see it, feel it. Be really honest with yourself about what would work for you. (Avoid comparison.)

Then imagine or two things to add into your day or week that might nudge you in that direction. It might be research, or tidying up, or designing something you love (instead of what you “should” be making). Whatever feels like a tangible thing – nothing huge, we don’t want to overwhelm or overturn – build it into your schedule.

Because here’s the thing:

You’re in charge, and your business is here to serve you, to add to your life, not just take away all the time. You need to check in with it, and with yourself, to make sure it feels right, and is giving you what you need.

Aim for fulfilled, not depleted.

Try taking some time off for reflection.

Consider a mentoring session for increased clarity and enthusiasm.

But most of all, be true to you.

Here's the thing: defining enough

When you’re working by yourself, in charge of everything, it can be really hard to decide when to stop working, when to finish a product, when to say ‘I’ve done enough today/this week/for now’.

This has become a theme in recent conversations with clients, and having also made some headway myself on this, I thought I’d share some guidance on how to define ‘enough’ for yourself.

And I want to caveat this post by saying that I, too, am walking the line a lot of the time. I don’t do this perfectly. It’s a practice. I’m working on it.

And let’s work from a place where we all know that cultivating the belief that we are enough – good enough, wonderful enough, worthy of love and belonging – is vitally important to our wellbeing as human beings. Practicing doing enough won’t get you there all by itself – you also need to work on the fundamental belief – but it will help.

So. Let’s dig in.

Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t believe that enough is defined by an external measurement. Or at least, that’s the way to madness. If someone else gets to decide when you’ve done enough, or when you’re a worthy person/business, you’re going to spend your entire life hustling for someone else’s approval. And, seriously, that’s never going to bring you happiness.

Defining enough by other people’s standards or approval might look like:

Being ‘enough’ when you force yourself to work 9 to 5 (or beyond) because you ‘have to’
Being ‘enough’ when you achieve a certain number of sales per week, month or year (that rapidly increases when you get there)
Being ‘enough’ when they like you
Being ‘enough’ when you’re featured as much as other people
Being ‘enough’ when you can say yes to every single opportunity that comes your way without struggling

These are just some examples. I think it’s important to note that defining yourself by a sales target is troublesome for me, because you’re ultimately relying on other people (customers, clients) to ‘approve’ of you, like your products, take an action that you can’t control.

And this is about defining ‘enough’ for you, within the realms that you can control, or at least significantly influence.

Last week, I announced on Facebook that I won’t be taking on any more clients until at least July. That decision was scary. I’d been thinking about it for about a month before I finally made the call. Yes, I was still scared when I put it out there. It’s brave. But ultimately it’s a decision that came with a whole bucket of relief, and has allowed me to feel like I’ve done enough each day since.

I knew that I was taking on too much work – way more than I could complete to my high standards. It felt like I was never at the end of the to-do list, that I’d never done enough at the end of each day.

So, I asked, what would be enough for me to do each day?

I’ve asked myself this before, when I started my business. But that was nearly a year ago. Some of the things I put in place still ring true, but my daily and weekly routines are much better defined now.

My daily enough has themes, but it changes from day to day. For example, on Wednesdays, I have three client calls, which is a lot for me. I have allowed myself to make those calls the minimum to reach ‘enough’ for that day. I don’t have to do anything else to have done enough. Sure, I often complete my notes as well, or get through some project work, or emails. But I don’t pile on the pressure to do any more than show up for those calls.

You might decide that enough is getting out orders for the day. Anything else is a bonus. Of course, you might get 50 more orders a day, and you can’t control that, so you might decide to define a number for yourself.

Here’s the thing…

How to define enough for yourself:

Set the bar low. If you expect yourself to achieve too much within a given timeframe, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Focus only on the things you can directly control. I can’t control how a client is going to feel after a call. I can’t make it a success, or guarantee I’ll give them exactly what they need. All I can do is show up, without distractions, with an open mind and heart, with all my experience, and without judgement or agenda.
Do not compare yourself to others. Their enough is not your enough. You cannot see the resources they have available, as much as you might like to think so.
Start by defining enough for each day as it comes. Then collect the themes together. Sometimes each day or week requires its very own enough, rather than trying to cookie-cutter your enough definition amidst shifting circumstances.

Some additional questions to ask yourself:

How many hours would be enough today? I typically don’t force myself to start ‘work’ – emails, phone calls, projects – until 10am. I spend a huge chunk of the morning reflecting, setting up my day, so that I’m settled and fully present. Low bar.
What’s really, truly essential? Don’t let anyone else define, for you, what’s important to do today. Just because someone expects an immediate response to an email doesn’t mean you have to give it, especially if it’s not a priority for you.
How will you respond to the unexpected? If your child is sick and you suddenly have to drop everything to take care of them, can you shift your ‘enough’ definition? Because you won’t be able to do what you usually do. And you’ll still have done enough, you’ll still be enough.

These are really just starting points on how to define enough. I think it is an ongoing practice, and inevitable is a personal practice, too.

My hope is that you’ll start to think differently about what you hold yourself accountable to. Feeling enough is something we all struggle with, and some of us it’s a daily struggle, especially when we’re caught up in society’s standards of perfection and a very specific picture of what it means to be ‘good at your job’, or even acceptable.

Please start to shake off those definitions created by other people who have no idea what your dreams are, what your challenges are, what you’re capable of.

Imagine defining enough as something achievable every day, and being able to end each day feel like you’ve done it all. You wouldn’t have to worry about the things you haven’t done, spending precious energy on something you can’t control. Imagine all the energy you’d have to slowly, consciously, carefully, do the things that really matter to you.

For me, it’s about making a significant difference in the lives of my clients. If I’m too tired to listen properly, or too overwhelmed to remember what we talked about last week, I’m not meeting my side of the bargain.

What do you define as ‘enough’? I’d love to hear!

Here's the thing: notonthehighstreet.com changed my life

Every Friday I post a “here’s the thing” blog. “Here’s the thing” is something my mum (and many other wise people) like to say when they’re about to make a good point. Hopefully these posts are also good points.

I don’t know about you, but autumn often makes me nostalgic – something about the mid-afternoon sun that makes things orange and warm and hopeful.

And I’ve been thinking about everything that brought me to this point: in my fifth month of self-employment and mentoring, about to move into my first non-rented home, and in a fun, fulfilling relationship with an awesome person.

One of the things that came to mind in my nostalgic mood was my interview with notonthehighstreet.com. It was in a little coffee shop across the road from their offices – they only had one very busy meeting room, so lots of meetings took place in the Corner Café.

We were meeting there, so I’d gone in and ordered a cup of tea. I was sat holding it, feeling the warmth of the glass mug and enjoying seeing the milky tea in a different way to usual. Out in Barnes, away from my then-job in busy Covent Garden, I felt really peaceful, but excited. I liked this business. I liked their brand and what they were doing. I was willing to man the phones, make the tea and wait for the right role to pop up.

Just before my interviewers walked in, I felt hopeful. It felt like my life was going to change.

And I didn’t have to wait long for the right role. In that interview, we were suddenly talking about a different job, something that sounded amazingly full of things I loved to do – proof, write, quality check, analyse. I was caught off-guard, but I went with it. I met Sophie Cornish and my first manager, Gail. Inspiring women then, and even more so now.

As I left, I felt even more excited! Not only was I going to work for this amazing business, I was going to be a doing a job that really felt like me, with passionate, intelligent women (and men, but there were like three of them in the business at that point). I had found a kind of home.

Here’s the thing: working for notonthehighstreet.com changed my life.

It stimulated a passion in me that had never before been clear. I’ve always been passionate (and stubborn, and determined), but I didn’t always really know what I was passionate about in my work life. I thought I was passionate about publishing, but honestly that was pretty boring.

And then suddenly here I was, finding a passion for doing a great job, finding and telling the story of fun and cool products, and supporting creative people. The hard work (and there was plenty) only seemed to make me more passionate.

I’ve heard people say it so many times: “notonthehighstreet.com has changed my life”. But they were Partners, sellers, small businesses that notonthehighstreet.com helped to find their audience and grow astronomically. It seemed like a statement exclusive to them. But it changed my life too.

In five years, I became a manager, an expert, a public speaker, a teacher. I worked with Holly and Sophie on both their books. I met Richard Branson (sort of – I was in the same room as him. That counts, right?). I won an award for being meaningful (where else do you get that?). I worked with Lucy, who managed me for years and became a treasured friend. I ran eight events, and spoke at seven of them. I met my boyfriend.

Five years later and it seems so obvious, that I would be here, mentoring small creative businesses. Helping them make more money, create their unique brands, and – ultimately – feel better about their businesses.

I can’t imagine not being here, not doing this. I feel, somehow, like I would always have ended up here, no matter which path I’d taken.

But that day, in that interview, and everything that happened since – all of that helped me get here. I cannot deny that notonthehighstreet.com changed my life.

And for that I’m incredibly grateful.

Because here’s the thing:

Here’s the thing: working for notonthehighstreet.com changed my life.

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