Are you a people-pleaser? Me too, except I’m in life-long recovery. The good news is that my business is MORE successful when I step back from people-pleasing. Let’s talk about why we get stuck in this trap, especially as women in business.
We all know a people-pleaser like Sally
Someone I know – let’s call her Sally – is amazing. She’s a truly brilliant human. She has her own business selling gorgeous gifts and cards and designs, and it’s pretty successful. She pays the bills with this business. But she’s always too busy. The orders mount up, the enquiries, the marketing. And she never quite gets around to designing the things she really wants to design, or managing to grow her business so that it’s more sustainable.
The truth is that Sally is incredibly generous with her time and energy. She jumps at the chance to help someone. She’ll tweak a design for a customer without charging for it. Except then she’s late with her orders and pays to upgrade to express delivery so that no one is disappointed, which ultimately eats into her profit.
And she spends a bit too much time helping her small business friends, helping with their product listings instead of her own, and offering them feedback, when really she needs to be planning her next new product launch.
Sally muddles along, swept up in being busy. She never really grows her business, and she never feels like she’s reaching her potential. She’s never quite happy.
Her people-pleasing is stopping her from success.
We’ve all been Sally.
In truth, Sally is combination of patterns I see in creatives all the time – including myself.
Most of us have been Sally, at one time or another. Offering too much, trying to avoid disappointing others, putting everyone else’s preferences over our own deep desires and needs.
It’s time to stop.
Suggestions for people-pleasers
Here are a few ways you can stop people-pleasing and reclaim your time, energy, and profit:
- Notice the orders that make you despair or slump. Remove those products or put the price up – significantly.
- Stop going on Facebook groups or Whatsapp chats. Mute them. Leave them. Limit your time in them. Only go to them once you’ve done YOUR things.
- Organise your team meetings to suit you. Stop avoiding conversations with your staff to protect their feelings, and then cover for them instead. It’s your business.
- Check in with your messaging for customers, staff, family, and friends: are you clear and consistent? And when someone asks too much, do you stand your ground? Give it a try.
Why people-pleasing doesn’t matter to your people
I believe true customers, staff, friends, family buy into you. Your happiness, your success, your sanity, your vitality and ability to thrive. And if they don’t, then they don’t deserve your gifts.
I don’t want to buy anything knowing that the person making it is stressed out, overworked, underpaid, and unhappy. I really don’t. I don’t see how anyone benefits from a system that is set up that way.
Stop letting your business stagnate because you’re being polite, people-pleasing, and hoping for the best.
Join the workshop!
I’m running a FREE workshop for business owners who are done with people-pleasing and are ready to reclaim their energy, time, and profit. It’s time to run the business you really want!
Join me on Thursday 2nd September at 8pm GMT for this hour-long masterclass on how you can let go of people-pleasing and run the business you actually want.
