here's the thing Archives - Page 36 of 44

Here's the thing: winning

I’ve been watching a lot of the West Wing recently (I’m only on season 4, so may I implore no spoilers, please!) and I love it. It cheers me up. It gives me hope in intelligence, hard work and moral integrity. (Which can’t be said for many American dramas, but that’s another story…)

I’m also reading Carole King’s memoir, Natural Woman, which is both beautifully written and completely fascinating. The section I’m on right now is about her work with political campaigns for presidential candidates, so these two things have started fitting together, and it got me thinking about the concept of winning.

Carole King performed (at fundraisers) for two presidential candidates who didn’t become the next president, but she wholeheartedly admired and respected their campaign and ideologies. She found “joy in finding common purpose with other Americans… who had come to politics not out of fear, hatred, or greed but because they wanted to make the world better.”

Oh, Carole. Yes! Yes to coming to anything in life from somewhere other than fear.

It strikes me that we often get caught up in “winning” or “success” as arbitrary achievements. You win if you make a sale. You’re successful if your product is featured on a certain website.

Sometimes, we think that doing better than someone else means we’re winning In fact, there’s a line from Toby in the West Wing: “You want to beat them. I want to win.”

What if winning is, like Toby, about your own definition of success?

What if you get to choose what matters to you? (Spoiler alert: you do)

What if it doesn’t matter whether you get elected as president, but that you influence the people who are to create policies and projects you believe in?

It’s no secret that I’m highly motivated by doing a good job. I’m an idealist and a recovering perfectionist. I want it to look good, with integrity, positivity and accuracy – as well as a high dose of authenticity.

If I can get through my day sharing my wisdom, encouraging people to do what matters to them, and helping them find ways to do more of it, that’s enough for me. That’s winning.

So here’s the thing:

What does winning mean to you? How do you define success? How do you define enough? (Which is just as important.)

Perhaps it’s enough to get out of bed each morning, think about your business and keep your dream alive.

Perhaps it’s enough to connect with people who like your designs and your ideas.

Perhaps you’re winning if you make one person’s day with your designs and your ideas.

Perhaps you’re winning if people are buying your products.

Perhaps you’re winning if you’re breaking even right now.

Perhaps it’s enough that working for yourself makes you happy, and that you get to share your happiness with other people.

Whatever winning means to you, define it. Live by it. Take some time to think about it, so that you can celebrate each little win.

Here's the thing: becoming qualified

I once read a quote either by or about Tony Blair, the gist of which was “The irony of being prime minister is that you’re more qualified for the job at the end of your term than at the beginning.”

It struck me as true, but kind of true of all jobs. True of running a business, buying a house, parenting and more.

You’re better at changing nappies when your kids don’t need them anymore than when you put that very first nappy on.

You’re more qualified to negotiate on house prices on your second house than on your first.

You’re better able to decide how much stock to order in your tenth year than in your first. (Note: I said tenth year. Not second. Not fifth. It takes a while.)

We learn by doing. And even if you think all you’re doing is making mistakes and holding it together by the skin of your teeth, you’re learning.

You’re learning how to design, prototype and launch a product. You’re learning how to stand up for what you need and want. You’re learning how to market yourself, and what works best for you.

It’s not easy, all this learning. And it’s certainly not always fun.

I have days where I just want to know everything without having to go through the process. But, like everything, the only way out is through. And I’m learning to trust that the longer it takes for me to learn something, the better it’ll stick. And that if something’s worth learning, it’s worth really learning through experience.

So here’s the thing:

One day, you’re going to be really qualified to live your life and run your business. I will tell you now: that day will be at the end. And at that point, you won’t want to do it anymore, because it’ll be boring.

Why will it be boring? Because you won’t be learning anymore.

We love learning, secretly. We’re motivated by it. It keeps things interesting, all the newness. Think about that moment when you have a new idea, and you can see the potential and you’re just itching to get started. That’s the motivation to learn, to find out what happens when you create this new thing. We want to experience what it’s like to do this one thing, to find out what it feels like and looks like and sounds like. It’s so fun!

Another thing: no one is more qualified than you to run your business.

(I talk about the comparison trap a lot, but that’s because we need reminding a lot.)

Some people may have experience in certain areas that make it easier for them to run a business. For example, my experience at notonthehighstreet.com has given me insight into online selling that has allowed me to jump right into mentoring clients. Not everyone has that, and it has made it easier for me.

Someone else may have worked in retail their entire careers, so when they set up their own business, it seems like they know how this whole thing works. They’re more experienced in certain areas that are helpful for them.

But you? You have experience and expertise in areas that are right for you. You’re learning where there are gaps and how to fill them.

Perhaps you have more experience designing, or keeping track of your expenses, or writing about your products. You don’t need to know it all. You can’t know it all.

You’re learning.

And every day, you’re more qualified.

Here's the thing: go slowly

Every Friday I post a “here’s the thing” blog. “Here’s the thing” is something my mum (and many other wise people) like to say when they’re about to make a good point. Hopefully these posts are also good points.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks. Even before Christmas and before the January resolutions mania kicked in, I was craving (and finding) ways to go slowly.

In the last year, I’ve moved house twice, left a job, started a business, bought a flat, and started a big, lovely relationship. You can probably understand that I might need a little less doing.

But I don’t think going slowly is just for the aftermath of lots of big things happening.

When you’re running a business and doing everything yourself, there are always endless things you could add to your to-do list. It’s not like we can’t all reel off 20 things we could do today. And there’s also endless opportunity to worry that you’re not keeping up with what’s expected of you, with what others are doing. Thanks, Facebook for that “gift”.

But as I mentioned on my social media last week, science says we’re more likely to overestimate what we can do in the short term and underestimate what we can achieve in the long term. This one thing has changed the way I work more than any other.

Basically, I under-sell myself on what I can do in the long term. And as if to prove it, I give myself way too much to handle in the short term and then “fail”. Can you relate to that?

So, now, a different mindset: my life is a marathon, not a sprint. Ditto for my business.

I’m not here for the short term, just to make a quick fortune and then retire. I’m here to build a job that will keep me passionate, enthusiastic and excited for, well, the rest of my life.

So here’s the thing:

Go slowly.

Those resolutions that might be feeling hard or boring or overwhelming? Don’t sweat it. If you gave yourself more than, say, three things to do in January, your expectations were skewed. Cut it back. Give more to February and March. They’re perfectly great months to do things. This isn’t procrastination, this is marathon planning.

Overwhelmed by the day’s to-do list before you’ve even started? Just focus on three things. You don’t need to look further ahead than that.

Need extra sleep? Give yourself time to lie in tomorrow. And Sunday. And possibly Monday. Your brain and your body and your work will thank you for it.

Worried that slowing down will actually result in never getting anything done? Then let me tell you that it’ll actually mean you get more done and feel better about it in the long term. And isn’t that what we all want?

PS If you need support in prioritising your precious energy, or are feeling a little lost, a January review might be just the thing for you. I still have a couple of spaces left for these special £50 sessions. Email me to book a call.

PPS There are also still spaces available for my Small Creative Business Retreat on 20-22 March. A whole weekend of going slowly and getting a whole load of great work done…

So here’s the thing:

So here’s the thing:

So here’s the thing:

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