Jenny Pace, Author at Jenny Pace

Stories for a Friday: accepting imperfection

I was driving back from yoga and thinking about how I’m not good at certain poses. Forward bends. Anything requiring flexibility in the hips. I am good at balances, and I’m really, really good at savasana (which is all about lying on the floor and relaxing – I really am good at that).

Same as when I’m doing a more traditional workout. Push-ups are not my forte. Nor are lunges.

But I can do them. Slowly and with lots of exasperation.

Anyway, I was driving back from yoga, thinking about how I’m no good at these poses, and maybe not good at anything. And why aren’t a good at them? What is it about me that stops me from being good at forward bends and push ups? Is it related to my other faults? Is one of them causing this, or is this causing one of them?

And suddenly… I stopped.

I stopped questioning myself. I stopped trying really hard to figure out why I’m “no good” at certain things. I even stopped thinking I’m no good at them. Because, for goodness’s sake, I can still do them!

***

I’m not perfect. Neither are you. And even though I have made a pact to embrace imperfection and let go of striving for perfection, it can still bite me in the you-know-where.

On the days when I’m fed up of not being damn perfect already, when I’m impatient and overtired, when I just want one thing to go right (dude, you didn’t severely injure yourself or anyone else today – something’s going right), I can start slipping into that perfectionism place.

By the time I got home, I was just grateful to be. To be able to go to yoga. To be able-bodied and relatively capable. To have good things to look forward to (if I let myself see them).

Considering my theme for this month is freshening up, it would be easy for my monkey mind to jump into how I need to freshen up my flexibility, to get stronger and better.

I see it differently.

It’s time to freshen up my self-kindness and my self-compassion. I’m imperfect, and that’s just how I’m meant to be.

It’s time to freshen up and re-frame my aims of going to yoga: it’s not about going and doing each pose perfectly. It’s about spending time with myself, with my body, and seeing what I’m capable of today.

It’s the same when we’re too hard on ourselves in business.

Maybe you’ve started believing you’re no good at business, when the business landscape has changed.

Maybe you’ve started thinking that your products aren’t good enough or you’re just rubbish at Facebook ads.

Maybe it’s just not perfect yet, and you’re tired of not being perfect.

Let’s freshen up those beliefs, and re-frame them so that you’re better supported.

Maybe this year is one of exploration for what’s possible. When you launch a product, notice what happens: who likes it, who buys it, whether it takes a little longer to sell than before. That’s not you failing, that’s seeing how the world it.

Maybe you’re learning about Facebook ads. No one nails it first time. Set yourself learning objectives, and notice what you’ve learnt each time.

If you’re tired of not being perfect, write a list of what you’re good at. Notice what works well in your life. Remember that no one lives a perfect life, and no business remains static at the top of its game. You’re in progress.

And mostly, pile on the love, the care, the compassion. Speak to yourself as you would a child or a friend. You’re not perfect. You won’t ever be. But that doesn’t stop you being amazing.

And you’re in really good company…

With love

Jenny x

Here's the thing: freshening up

When was the last time you took some time to freshen up? Not re-brand or start over or plod on, but just… freshen up.

To me, freshening up brings to mind a beautiful moment in a busy day: a moment to pop to a luxurious bathroom or bedroom, take a breath, redo your makeup and hair, and dab yourself with something that smells divine.

Or freshening up a pot of tea. Is there anything more delightful?!

I think about freshening up a room with a lick of paint, or plumping the cushions. Adding a new necklace to an outfit to take it somewhere new. Dusting off a shelf and adding a different photo in front of the books. Adding an essential oil to your yoga practice.

It’s not a redesign of the whole house. It’s not taking a shower and putting on a totally new outfit and starting your makeup from scratch. It’s not starting a totally new yoga practice.

It’s freshening up.

It’s not a rebrand. It’s not throwing out your entire business plan and strategy. It’s not believing nothing is working and it all needs to change.

It’s not a rigorous new routine. It’s not a new skill. It’s not something you have to learn from the very beginning.

It’s freshening up.

For our businesses, freshening up is like tuning up. Dialling up the things we want more of, just a little, but in a way that’s significant to us.

Perhaps it’s giving a little closer attention to your Instagram captions, if they’ve dwindled.

Or ordering those new stickers for your packaging.

Or changing your email signature and Facebook cover.

Or spring cleaning your product listings.

Freshening up is ideal for this time of year, or any time of year, and it’s a gentle but powerful way to shift your energy and your business. You’ve already (I imagine) made some goals for the year, put some plans in place, and given 2018 some serious attention.

But perhaps your energy is waning, or things feel a little impossible.

You know what time it is: time to freshen up.

Here’s the thing

In March, I’m doing a soft launch of the new-look Progress not Perfection group course. It’s currently called Planning With Purpose, and I’m building on all my experience and work to develop an ongoing supportive course and community for small business owners.

I currently have a lovely group of women signed up to the course, and they’ll be testing the new material next month, which has a theme of Freshening Up. (D’uh!)

Here are some of the questions I’ll be asking the group:

What’s the metaphorical lick of paint for your business?
What would bring a breath of fresh air to your business?
What can we weed out to make room for fresh growth?
What would “fresh” feel like for you over the next four weeks?
How can you bring yourself a symbolic bunch of daffodils?
If you tuned up by 10%, what would be different?
How could you get just a little closer to the business (person, life) that’s so clear in your mind and heart?

I’m not advertising the new version of this course right now – just experimenting with the new look and the new content. But just in case you fancy joining before it officially changes over (and the price goes up), you can sign up here and spend March freshening up your business with us.

Here's the thing: the importance of the nuanced position

“It’s definitely messier taking a nuanced stance, but it’s also critically important to true belonging.” Brene Brown

I have spent a lot of my life, like many of us, search for the rule book. Just show me what to do to be happy, successful, loved and I’ll do it. Tell me exactly what to do and what not to do, and I’m good.

Let’s just categorise everything into back and white, shall we? Yes and no. Stop and go. That would be really exceptionally helpful.

Except it’s not real.

I love to bring clarity to clients, and to myself, to aid decision making and progress. But what I’ve discovered over the years is that sometimes the real clarity comes from holding two or more seemingly conflicting ideas. The nuanced position, while more complex and requiring more care and attention, is often more true.

You can be grateful for something and want it to change.

You can be totally over something and already missing it.

You can be totally fine about a situation and feel the disappointment.

You are your business and you’re not.

You can, as I have, both supported people immensely and let them down.

When we leap to a nice clean viewpoint, we can miss the complexity and detail of the situation. Which is what Brene Brown is saying in the quote above. To really show up fully, we have to accept the messy details of truth if we really want that buzzword of authenticity. If we want true connection and belonging and progress, we have to step up to the conflicting nuance of life.

I have a feeling that this is my work right now. I’m working on shining a light (my word for the year) on the darker things in order to understand them better.

And after four years of self-employment, mentoring clients, and providing content services, I’m working on blending the deep work of coaching and retreats WITH the practical application of accountability and planning. It’s not one or the other. It’s both.

It’s checklists and nudges and reminders, and it’s big conversations about what’s getting in the way. It’s deep, long-term work as well as quick wins and refreshes.

And I’m excited about it! I’m currently working on a new version of my monthly support course, which I’ll be calling Progress not Perfection, and it’s really the pinnacle of my unique blend of depth and practicality. The habits, structures and suggestions that help us to do the big work, the deep work, the truly satisfying work.

So what about you?

What are the nuances in your work, life, business that need a light shining on them?

What do you try to fit into a neat and tidy box, that really needs a few different shelves in order to thrive?

What if everything you feel, believe, create is true?

What if you don’t have to compromise and find a niche, when in reality everything is valid?

How could you embrace your own nuanced position this week?

It’s a little messy over here in Nuanceville. But you’re in good company. I promise.

Jenny x

Here’s the thing

So what about you?

Notes of Encouragement